Pole Arrival and Fave Dancer Vids

Ok, dance poles are heavy! Coworkers think I got poling for a martin house. It is a really tall pole... about 9 ft when put together without extenders. Gonna need help getting it to the car though... I wasn't thinking when I wore 4 inch heels today... or was I? Lol. I also found it amusing that it arrived when Zombie's Foxy Foxy was playing on my playlist.

Ok, so I'm super psyched about getting this pole and can't wait to put it up. It won't get put up until tomorrow for a couple reasons... my nice Baptist mother is having a whiny church lady over tonight. I plan on watching the install video at least though. Prolly a heck of a lot of youtube dance videos too. So having never posted a pic or anything, I will attempt to share some of my fave pole dancer youtube videos today.

First is Felix Cane. This woman is amazing on a pole. It takes ridiculous control and strength to do these moves and she makes them look so effortless and graceful. When/if I get around to posting a video of myself, it will not look like this, but I'll wish it did. Ok, enough... video. This was easy to post, hmm. Not one her competition performances, looks like maybe she just freestyled it. Long ass Metallica song, lol.

Ok, next one. I like Jenyne Butterfly, but I think some of her routines are quite a bit alike. Eh, still looks good and she still has a couple more titles and medals more than me, so I'll be quiet. Again not a competition video, so watch one of those for a little more atheletic and cleaner look to her routines. Tried to find the one she posted of this. I think I came across one in which she said it was after a couple hours of practice and she was tired and didn't have the cleanest of lines and transitions. She looks pretty good to me though. Ended up with this one... I hate people talking over the music in videos, but can't watch a bunch of pole vids at work trying to find the one with the music added back into the muted performance.

Hope you enjoyed!

Potential Goodness

Crazy quick note, then back to pretending I care about this meeting.....

I am promised a weekend getaway. Most likely the 7th and 8th. Gasp! I am to keep that weekend open and Ty is looking into plans. I feel like I need to keep my expectations low on this working out, because that's what happens to me. Every other weekend in September has something going on anyway. Can't wait for L1's baby shower and hopefully folk can come in from out of town too. And RenFest that wknd, something the next wknd, and my mom's birthday is at the end of the month (29th) and I'm getting a bunny that wknd too.

Oh and the pole update is "Destination Scan" - so close!

Mom Update and Some Rambling

Wondering how I can have all these glorious weekend plans and not have my mother around? Well, that's because she's going to Nebraska with the neighbor she's "not" dating. The last month she has been only coming home from work long enough to change clothes and then she is at his house until midnight or 2am, depending on whether she is working or not the next day. He brings her flowers when he picks her up for dinner and gave her an orchid when he made a full meal for them a week ago. They're not dating. They both very awkwardly insist this, which makes it awkward. Awesome.

So last Thanksgiving we lost our dogs and never got them back. Toss up whether someone dognapped them or illegal hunters shot them. I don't really believe they ran off to a nice happy family, because I can remember getting out of the shower that morning and feeling like something was wrong and different from other mornings they'd left the yard. Usually I would just go to work and know they'd be back once the dewy morning wore off, but like I said it was different and I saw the sneaky beagle that they ran with looking bewildered and really jumpy when I called to him. Beagle knows what happened... he saw things, but I digress.

So anyhow, we spent Thanksgiving morning asking neighbors if they'd seen the dogs. We live in the country btw, so neighbors means covering a couple miles really and lots of fields and woods in between. My mother commented on how she wished she knew our neighbors better... awkwardly find out on this trip that our street is full of widows and widowers. Karl's wife found a lump in her breast and was gone two or three weeks later. Lady on the hill's husband died due to cancer in October- we just thought it odd that they didn't have their normal watermelon party in August. Then the guy on the corner's wife died from a drunk driver went off the bridge above them on 71 highway and falling onto their car. Crazy. With my mom included, that is 4 of the 6 people who live in our street area that are widowed.

Fast forward to the end of July 2012. She keeps harping on not being as close to our neighbors for the last several months. I tell her to just go talk to them. I know most of them because they had kids or grandkids in school with me that I use to ride the bus with in early high school. Country bus routes are about 2.5 to 3 hours long, so you make friends when you're at the end of the route. So she recently learned how I make chicken enchiladas and made some and took them over. Stayed for about 4 hours. He has alpacas... I will post pics of them eventually.... along with other things.

I don't care that she spends a lot of time with him. I like it actually, but I hate being talked to about it. Their talks are what makes things awkward. I'm not much of a "feelings front and center" kind of girl. I mull a lot more and decide how I feel about things like this. If I had a problem, I'd let you know, otherwise the forced convos are just uncomfortable. Like your parents wanting to have "The Talk". No matter when that happens, it's awkward and not what you want to discuss with them, lol. Shiver

Weekend Plans

I need to add pictures... this will come soon. Pole will arrive tomorrow and I will set it up Friday night and all weekend long and will attempt to take some decent pics then. Shoes... I'll work on this too this weekend. I have a big Labor Day weekend party of one planned for myself. Placed an order for a couple more bottles of wine. Will set up the pole and play for a couple hours and whenever I walk by for the majority of the weekend. I have a goal to purchase a new grill and grill yummy meat on it. I am considering going to the new Sea Life Aquarium and/or LegoLand KC. I think I'll probably go to the aquarium, but the LegoLand looks like it'd be more fun with another big kid. September 24th is Star Wars theme night... sounds spectacular if I can find someone to go with, lol.

This week is dragging on forever. It feels like it should be Thursday at least, not Wednesday. I was super productive this morning. Now, eh, more just want to go home. Read a book, watch a movie or something. Maybe I'll see a movie this weekend. I'll prolly sleep a lot.

Ty is going with friends to Lake of the Ozarks. I wasn't invited. Not surprised, and not really upset or anything like that. I'm just bored already with my weekend. At the same time I want a lot of undisturbed pole time too. I considered driving somewhere, but want pole time, meh. Bored may not be the best word. Feel like I want someone to hang part of this weekend, I guess.

Job Vent and Shopping While Intoxicated

So a week ago Monday, I got my annual review at the jobby job. Nothing but good things, but I need to be more consistent with my arrival time in the next month as we get two new people from the main company over here and they are use to a stricter schedule. Damn blackhole of time that I stumble across most mornings!

Then we talked about the coming transition. The accounting side of our company is going to start doing our own full accounting cycle. Normally we do some, but send it over to the main bldg for the majority. This will cut the current 7 people’s (by hours spread between a lot more folk) salaries we pay to three people’s worth. So this will mean 4 full time peoples' responsibilities will need to be dispersed amongst three who already have full-time jobs. The math here is, um, unfavorable.

Now then, the three of us will all have other duties besides accounting still. "Accounting" here encompasses 4-5 speaker companies and the wine company for daily payables, receivables, tax stuff, international stuff and so on. So you can imagine how much the company will be saving. So when she was happy to give me $0.25 raise or $500 additional a year, I was a little less than thrilled. My motivation kinda walked off and got distracted by the internet and blog names. It's the wrong attitude, but I still feel a little sulky a week later. Kinda wondering if this is what I needed to set me free to look at moving to Denver, Albuquerque, Texas or wherever new with friends.

But first I went home and drank a bottle of liquid benefits from the current company. Talked on the phone with an old Rolla friend in Albuquerque (ABQ from here on), and shopped online. Bought some shoes (post pics another time) and bought a pole dance spinner pole. This pole is not like the cheap toy ones. This is a professional X-Pole Xpert 45mm. I was both appalled and excited to see I ordered it the next morning. I got a good deal... about $50 less than most places due to my thrifty discount code searching, lol. It arrives at the office on Thursday... office because it has to be signed for. The reason I've not bought one before is that my sweet, baptist Sunday school teaching mother would prolly do more than frown at it. But she's not home as much anymore (more on this later), so hopefully I can set it up more often than originally thought. Ok, so maybe I shouldn't shop online while drunk, but maybe it'll work out... maybe, lol. Did I mention I'm excited?

Most Recent Date... Artsy Fartsy

Ok, so this was last Saturday and it went so well that I can't remember his name today... Chris? Maybe David? Rich? Yeah, it was that good.

So met him for drinks and dinner... sit outside at nice little place downtown. I wore jeans and a nice tank top blouse. He wore jeans and artsy tshirt and a taxi-driver hat (never remember their names, but I actually like them). Scene set! He's a graphic designer and illustrator sometimes. He feels confident he can draw and paint anything. He is learning how to play the guitar and mandolin. We obviously value different life skill sets. I am beginning to realize this is bad. I don't do well with artsy folk. I value logic, science, math, and such. I am that person that loves the idea of going to an art fair, but will only really like a handful of pieces/artists. The rest I avoid eye-contact with because I feel they may see my "Sorry, your life's work is unappealing or pretentious or small child-like and holds little value to me" I know, I'm a bitch sometimes, but honest.

So I'm trying here though. Girl needs to get laid. I think I asked myself a couple times, "How much is this worth?" and "Can I make this work?" I tried saying how I still use a little chemistry when doing glass batches for my glasswork and that works makes accounting tolerable. This is art! Yay! Connection! He waved his hand at me dismissively and then apologized that he just didn't see that as real creative art. Something about the glass deciding it's own outcome. I've decided that if I do stick it out, someone will be crying at the end of the night and it won't be me. Not a good place even for my happy gutter mind. I think I'm attempting a smile at this point, but I can feel myself becoming viscious and wanting to say harsh things. Smiling takes focus at this point and is helping me appear nice-ish.

Final straw.... Asking if I can sing. He really wants to find a girl who can sing, since he's learning to play the guitar. Ok, I feel a bit of panic at the thought of singing in public. I only sing in the car and to a purely feline audience at home. But this question caught me off guard and I just lost it. I pictured us singing together while he plays the guitar and strangers throw money into the propped guitar case. I had a weird hippy garland thing in my hair and that's the mental image that sent me over the edge. I started laughing out loud, put my hand to my mouth and kept on laughing. I think I actually said "How do I find you guys?" and then said I had to go. Put $10 on the table for my meal and drink and left still laughing.

I should have known though. I mean, I suggested we go to BaconFest and he wasn't interested. No one else to blame. Should have known then that it wasn't gonna work out with someone who would turn down BaconFest.

Relationships... Not New, But Feels Like It Sometimes

I previously started blogging after a pretty harsh end to a relationship. Seemed pretty intense and I was pretty unsure of things at that time. Not denying that it was intense, but it is crystal clear looking back and thank you all who pushed for me to not give in to him. He last attempted a contact about a month ago, but some nice big weightlifting competitor firemen had a chat with him and now it's peacefully quiet. I like that... a lot... giggle.

So on to greener-ish pastures. Anyone who read anything by me before at least vaguely remembers Ty. Not gay, but still unsatisfied. Stupid cute idiot. I don't really know what to think here most of the time. Hot and cold... or super hot to lukewarm-ish. He's become my closest work friend and I'd like to be better friends outside of work. Mostly outside of work is sexting and r-rated pic exchanges on a bored weekend here and there. If you can't tell, this is a lukewarm week, lol. Good conversations and I know he is a happy bachelor and I'm ok with that. I'm perfectly happy with a fwb relationship with him right now. But it's never gone there, just been the worse tease I've ever known.

Sometimes I think this is what I was like when I was at my worst about commitment, lol. I must have driven people nuts. I remember that I would get too close and then I'd give the person the cold shoulder, even date others for like a week or two before coming back just to prove we weren't dating. Well, if Ty and I are dating... it's like JH dating. Only see each other in the same space we know each other from and have lunch together sometimes somewhat covertly. So like JH, before you could drive and go out on dates outside of school time, and lunch together, and then deny to others that you even notice his/her existence, lol.

I won't always want a fwb relationship, but I'm ok with it for now. I almost want to yell at him that he's gonna miss this and about the time he is ready to take the chance, I'll want more. But I'm happy right now with not being committed to a relationship, it feels a little like freedom when I am up in the air about other things. I feel content and healthier, more logical and steady than I was a few months ago. Normal for me at least.

Blog Mission Statement? Kinda

Ok, so I wanted to start my own blog a couple months ago... I blame and thank Kim. Been holding back because I wanted a perfect name, but finally decided that I really wanted to just start this and not worry about perfection. Distracted Girl seemed appropriate because I am known for being able to be distracted by anything... it doesn't even have to be shiny or blink (though, I like those a lot). And really this blog is gonna be a distraction from productivity anyway. So sometimes this blog will feature whatever is on my mind and sometimes that may be relationships, awful/hilarious/good(?) date stories, job venting, shoes, questions to the universe and other randomness.

Meanwhile, I love comments, so leave one if you got any comments, questions, ideas, balloons to float or darts to throw.

Ok, that's done. Now lunch and then I'll come back and write a real post or two.