Relationships... Not New, But Feels Like It Sometimes

I previously started blogging after a pretty harsh end to a relationship. Seemed pretty intense and I was pretty unsure of things at that time. Not denying that it was intense, but it is crystal clear looking back and thank you all who pushed for me to not give in to him. He last attempted a contact about a month ago, but some nice big weightlifting competitor firemen had a chat with him and now it's peacefully quiet. I like that... a lot... giggle.

So on to greener-ish pastures. Anyone who read anything by me before at least vaguely remembers Ty. Not gay, but still unsatisfied. Stupid cute idiot. I don't really know what to think here most of the time. Hot and cold... or super hot to lukewarm-ish. He's become my closest work friend and I'd like to be better friends outside of work. Mostly outside of work is sexting and r-rated pic exchanges on a bored weekend here and there. If you can't tell, this is a lukewarm week, lol. Good conversations and I know he is a happy bachelor and I'm ok with that. I'm perfectly happy with a fwb relationship with him right now. But it's never gone there, just been the worse tease I've ever known.

Sometimes I think this is what I was like when I was at my worst about commitment, lol. I must have driven people nuts. I remember that I would get too close and then I'd give the person the cold shoulder, even date others for like a week or two before coming back just to prove we weren't dating. Well, if Ty and I are dating... it's like JH dating. Only see each other in the same space we know each other from and have lunch together sometimes somewhat covertly. So like JH, before you could drive and go out on dates outside of school time, and lunch together, and then deny to others that you even notice his/her existence, lol.

I won't always want a fwb relationship, but I'm ok with it for now. I almost want to yell at him that he's gonna miss this and about the time he is ready to take the chance, I'll want more. But I'm happy right now with not being committed to a relationship, it feels a little like freedom when I am up in the air about other things. I feel content and healthier, more logical and steady than I was a few months ago. Normal for me at least.