Mail

I need to work on opening my mail in a timely fashion. Usually mail comes and I see bill, bill, pre-approved credit card, bank statement, bill, magazine or coupon. I pay the majority of my bills online, so these aren't important. I am OCD with my checking account and usually have an idea within a couple dollars in my head at all times, so the bank statement can be set aside because I can compare mental account to online account. Pretty close to the same thing with pay check stubs thanks to direct deposit and online time sheets. Coupons and magazines... sales and deals crowd my email inbox, so I will occasionally search through those for any additional coupons savings if I'm planning on shopping. Rolling Stone and Taste of Home and Cooking Club magazines are immediately snatched out and all thoughts about the remaining pile are forgotten.

This is only if I got the mail and am going through it myself. If my mom gets my mail, she immediately puts the lot of it on my stack of things I've already "glanced" at (see above). Now when this pile gets too high, I seriously consider going through it and sorting it to the filing cabinet. "Too high" means taller than the napkin holder next to it; for anyone wondering that's around 5 inches. However, sometimes it never reaches this magical height. It just disappears. My mom will clear it away in a drawer. Since the pile is not high enough to be worrisome, it doesn't need to be opened and so it sits.

Then a year passes and the drawer is full and the pile reaches it's magical height. So I went through the pile and drawer today. The contents are distributed across the living room tonight and I found two checks and a replacement credit card (1st cc ever is the only reason I keep this card and use it once a year) and replacement store credit card (closed the closest store, so...). Also, realized that I might have missed my last payment to the school a couple months ago. Yeah, oops.

Conclusion: I need to open my mail in a more timely manner.

Time Flies....

Wow.... it's been two weeks since or something since I wrote anything. Didn't realize it'd been that long, but then I guess it has been awhile. Probably would have been good to write more the last couple weeks too... good for myself, I mean. Well, this past week was a wash anyway. I have had this cold, that turned into maybe the flu, and then finished out with a sinus infection for the win!. Pretty spectacular and gross.

It's Friday afternoon and after sleeping 12 hours last night, I am starting to feel normal. So I have a dozen things to catch up on. Oh, and a 3:15 hair appointment. This is because it's been cold outside this week, but I haven't had much reason to go anywhere, so I haven't bothered much with my hair... and this sickness thing made holding a blow dryer feel like wielding a sledge hammer's weight. In the summer, my hair routine is comb, pull leave-in conditioner through hair, comb and give a shake and go. Winter... well, if I tried that as my daily hair routine I'd be sick all the time. After this last week... must avoid any repeats if possible.

I haven't laid eyes upon my blow dryer and straighteners in several months thanks to a mild spring and hot summer. They have resided at my mom's vanity during this time as she always blow dries and styles with curlers usually, but sometime straighteners when too curly. I walk in am horrified to find them covered in make up. The black handles look pink and shimmery... wth? This is really bothering me as I blowdry and begin straightening. Until I realize my ends are atrocious. Now it's not split ends, I get those so rarely, but the ends are a million different lengths. I have to really curl my ends under to hide them and use the other hand to send an emergency text to my stylist. She understands and is getting me in at 3:15. :-) I was supposed to have a dinner date yesterday, which would've been cancelled due to sickness, but he cancelled first for schedule issues. Now dinner on Monday, and I'll have straight ends then.

I have to get the piranha goldfish today. He's been out for almost three weeks now. It's not good. He's chewing at plastic plants. So goldfish and hair trim all in the next hour and a half! Yeah, yeah... I have kinda small goals today. Better than daytime tv, knitting and remembering when next to take my meds... my grandma's probably had a more exciting life the last week. 

UPDATE: Hair is cut and looks swell again, yay! No goldfish anywhere I went. Well, there was maybe half a dozen sickly ones at the Belton Petsmart, but there were more dead ones than swimming ones. No one gets shipments until Monday. Need to check two more places... tomorrow maybe. Gonna call first, because I can't be using gas money.

Just Not Over Yet

Hard to believe that a week ago, life seemed pretty good and stable. I mean, of course, there were things I'd change, but overall, good, normal, and stable. Last week seems both close and far away. By unemployment technicalities, I was fired... employer chose to end my employment while work was still available. So not lying and putting "laid off"- can't justify any of the causes like weather, bankruptcy, reduced hours, and such. Dealing with bad internet connection on top of it, so I have filled out each page twice or sometimes three times. Kinda unhappy that choosing "fired" means going through the interview process and it taking potentially 10 weeks to be approved or denied and having to file the weekly form each week while waiting and potentially being denied. I know, why do I assume the worst here? Well, my luck kinda sucks right now.

Last night I was out with a friend I haven't talked to in over a year due to a misunderstanding and we both thought the other was mad... dumb reason not to talk. We're talking and I'm getting ready to get in my car and go home when my phone vibrates. Check it and besides this missed call, I have two texts from my mom. Our dog, Sable, is 15 yrs old and the summer has been hard on her. She still tries to follow me around the house, so we've been ok with just giving her some aspirin with her food a couple time a week when she's hurting. But the last week she's barely been eating her food... maybe a couple mouthfuls at most for a day. So we'd been having the discussion of when to take her to the vet. We'd decided to take her later this week. Let her enjoy the sunshine and give her a little more attention with giving her a couple days of her favorite foods kind of thing. Then she was walking last night along the side of the house and maybe fell down a light slope. Just couldn't get up after that. She has hip dysplasia (sp?), and this fall really hurt her.

On my way home to get to my dog, my car hood flies up and smashes my windshield while I'm driving down the highway doing about 75 mph. Awesome. I'm on a curve too, can't see anything except this tiny sliver above my dashboard and below the raised car hood. Hit brakes, slide a bit, see white line and just try and get on the other side of it without going into the grass. Even the tow truck driver commented that he was surprised that my airbag didn't go off and that it was a bad place for it to happen. Then I ended up sitting there for over an hour and my car battery almost died, and is just low enough to not start now. My uncle came over this morning and was able to use 2x4s to move my hood back to the right shape. It's a little warped looking, but closes all the way and don't have to replace it. Yay, save money. Windshield can't be replaced til Wednesday.

Called around to get into a vet this morning and everyone basically told me the earliest they could get us in was tomorrow. Not good enough, she's in a lot of pain and feeding her aspirin and chicken broth isn't doing it. She did seem like she did better with a couple aspirin. Tried to get up a couple times and managed to drag herself into the sunshine this morning, by scooting her whole bed with her. She slept a bit after that and it made me feel better that she wasn't in so much constant pain at that point. We ended up getting a vet appt about 2, and while I miss my Bear pup, it's kind of a relief to not have to watch her in such pain. Hug my kitty tight tonight.

Non-answer Answers

So... apparently the only thing in my personnel file is my application, rate changes and benefits information. No reviews or anything like that. This seems unrealistic and ridiculous for a large company. I know the audio group is a separate company, but all of our benefits and checks are ran through the main company. Then again, I have never signed anything when given my reviews or even pay raise, which seems odd, right? I've never worked somewhere that didn't have me sign a review or rate change, and I remember thinking that was odd. I might have even asked with my first review, but I was still new and didn't want to question too much. Now it just seems really convenient. Learning experience there, I guess.

I finally got called back at 5:15 with this information by HR. She also told me that she had no additional details and that there's no copies of my reviews and what is in my file. Told me that usually personnel files aren't available to former employees, and that she could provide me with a document stating my title, dates of employment, and rate of pay. The only information that would be given out to anyone who calls.

So with that information, I am going to find my scattered and unopened pay stubs -awful like that with direct deposit. I figure up how much I should be paid for my hours and my deductions on my own and it's always right about what I figure in my bank account, in my defense. I feel odd about this, but I'm filing unemployment, and not going to just take any job right away. Going to apply and take a worthwhile job and do some more schooling. I'm applying around here, KC, but also out of state. I'm kinda thinking Denver or Albuquerque, but I also am unsure about the environments in both those areas. I am choosing those areas based on friends and so I feel I also need to look at companies I want to work for and areas that I actually like. I feel I want seasons or warm weather, but warm weather with green around me... maybe some blue sea close by?

Alright, kinda mad that I still don't have a reason. I was informed that my boss was upset with my extended weekend. I am getting a doctor's note for my doctor visit. But, now that I know I'm not getting anything else from them, I kinda feel like I have a point to move forward from right now.

Unemployed - Bad Movies and a Couch = Ungood

Well, no lunch with Ty... a system went live overnight about a month early, so he ended up at work at 5am and is obviously busy today... and tomorrow. Haven't heard back from HR... thinking HR leaves at 4pm, so gonna call in a minute (3:40ish). I hurt from the wreck... it wasn't huge, but I've been achy since that night. Less so today, but still achy in my neck and back. My muscles don't hurt half as much as I thought they would for working out. Mostly was a bum today- worked out and then hung out through some B movies on tv and then started being domestic when I realized I was looking for something to watch that just wasn't awful. It's nice outside. Gonna brush the dog out today is a goal. But first, calling HR again.

Apple Butter - Batches 1 & 2

Well, I thought I should get around to posting this at some point... Apple butter!

Reason this is feasible and a great idea. When I was in junior high, my parents moved to the country. My dad always wanted land and loved the idea of deer hunting on his own property. So to lure these tasty deer in, in addition to deer corn and salt licks through out the property, he also planted 5 granny smith trees just before the tree line and next to the pond. I swear these went in almost immediately, and when someone said, "Granny smiths? Well, John, those are really good tasting apples you're be having in a couple years." He looked at him like he was crazy and said matter of factly, "The apples are for the deer."  So it's been almost 15 yrs since they were planted and it's been just over 4 yrs since he died, and I've never had an apple- they're for the deer. But two weeks ago, I was mowing around them and noticed that even though everything died this summer from the drought, I have good size apples on two of the trees.


About a week later, I was concerned about finding a cookie that was like an oatmeal creme pie, but had apple filling in it instead of creme. Random ideas come along and need to be followed. I love oatmeal creme pies, but apple ones sounded good and healthier. So that makes them more justifiable in eating a couple at a time, right? I never found these magical cookies by the way, but I started looking for the recipes for filling and then changed to apple butter recipes.

I ended up with a mash up of some recipes I found online. Most of the recipes wanted copious amounts of sugar or to use apple sauce and/or apple juice.I have apple trees and tons of apples in the backyard, so I don't want to buy any apple stuff and I've been trying to eat healthier this last year. I've been cutting out processed food and trying to stick more to a meat, fruits and vegetables diet. Also, cutting out sugar unless it's already in my tasty strawberries or apples.

Ingredients:
12 to 15 apples, cored, peeled and cubed. (cubed quantity should be 2 qts)
1/3 cup pure maple syrup
1/4 cup white balsamic vinegar
1 cup brown sugar (added an extra bit, maybe 1 tbsp in the 2nd batch)
1 tbsp cinnamon (added maybe 1/2 tsp more in 2nd batch)
1/2 tsp cardamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp all spice

I made two batches and will address the differences and changes later. As I'm cubing apples I tossed them into a 2 qt pitcher, maybe not the most technical way of measuring, but gave me an idea at least. Then I ran them through a small blender (larger one would work better than my little one serving smoothie one) and made them into smaller chunks... not liquid, kinda like lesser apple chips. Should have taken a picture at this stage.

Then I dump them into a crock pot (stove top the first time and will never do it again). Added the other ingredients and stirred. Turn crock pot on low for the next 10 hours, lid slightly opened (like wide enough for a big wooden or plastic spoon handle), I covered it with my hand towel to not let it evaporate too much. Stirred about once an hour or maybe like once in a couple hours- did the second batch overnight and most of the stirring was anticipation.

Got up early and the house smells like apple cinnamony happiness. Stirred, added some water to get the consistency I wanted if needed, turned it on high to break down more. After another hour or so, pulled out a hand blender and worked up to its highest setting to help break down any large chunks. Leave it alone on high for another hour, maybe another blending to break up any chunks that softened since the last time. I saw recipes in which people poured the whole mixture into an actual blender. My big one was downstairs on a basement shelf, so I used the hand blender mostly out of laziness. Course, if you used a big blender at the beginning, then maybe cut out the end blending here altogether. I should try this maybe.

Once you get the consistency and taste you want, it's time to do some canning. My first batch made 6 and a half jars. It's pretty smooth, but not very thick either. It's also kind of appley, with a bit of tart aftertaste. My second batch with more spices as noted in the ingredient list and less water added, is still smooth, but thicker. It spreads more like butter and holds the peaks on toast and doesn't slide off the knife as easily. It's also more cinnamon spicy and sweet. I still actually taste the cardamon, which I discovered and adore from Persian tea/coffees I discovered this summer. I thought I liked the second one better, but I think they're both good. I like the thicker consistency of batch 2 for sure. But the appleness of batch 1 is nice and is addictive in a way that the spices aren't overpowering. The second batch is definitely sweeter, and almost covers the apple undertones. I think it'd be great on a sandwich (haven't tried it with peanut butter, but soon), or on a bagel or biscuit. The first batch is good with apples or whenever you don't want such a strong taste. I like that my tastebuds search through the tastes on this one. Sweet, spicey, and ending with a discovery of apples.

 1st & 2nd batch side by side

 1st batch on toast - color is more light reddish brown

2nd batch - obviously much thicker and more reddish color

Canning in the next post.

Unemployed Emotions

Nearly useless day so far. The only usefulness is that I did an hour of P90X. I need to call and ask for copies of my reviews and anything else in my file, but I am really nervous. I get like this. Nervous about something that I imagine will only be about a 5-10 minute conversation at most. Probably less. But now I almost don't want to know. I have worked myself up into thinking of every possible thing I have ever done at work. I am irrational in some ways today. My workout did not work. I know the only solution is to make the call and stop worrying.

In my head, I know that I should be fine, but I know that I'm not. For instance, normally I am hungry. Normally, I am starving by 10:30 in the morning, even if I had something earlier that morning. No way I could skip dinner last night and still not be hungry at 2:30 this afternoon. And I worked out... so two hours after that, I should be really hungry. Well, that's when my mind finally kicked in and said that I should ignore the normal "only eat when hungry" and recognize that I need to eat something. Struggled through half a chicken breast and a handful of fresh green beans. At least eat healthy, right?

I am over my immediate "share with the world" moments that I always have when my life gets turned upside down. Now I want to close in to only those people I already told. It started to happen a bit yesterday. I couldn't tell the cop or the guy in the car I hit that I had just lost my job. I know shutting discussion down is ungood, but I also have wandered more into and embraced the shamefulness of losing a job.

Ty has texted me this afternoon, which is really helpful. We're gonna have lunch tomorrow. I kinda imagined that no one would talk to me afterwards actually and I'm not past thinking that it'll end soon too. This is what I mean about the shamefulness. Like I am this office pariah that everyone would/should avoid. I am a bum in a tshirt, workout shorts under pajama pants, at home with my cat, blogging while watching season 2 of Breaking Bad. This is a nice day off, if it was a real day off and not the next several days... just weird.

Ok, step one: turn off tv. Step two: take shower (showers always wake the mind and lend clarity (at least for me). Step three: Make the phone call. Go from there. I'll report back later!

UPDATE: Voicemail... twice. And now that I think about it my file would be in the lock drawers behind my boss' desk, so can't get them yet anyway. More worry for tomorrow now.