I need to work on opening my mail in a timely fashion. Usually mail comes and I see bill, bill, pre-approved credit card, bank statement, bill, magazine or coupon. I pay the majority of my bills online, so these aren't important. I am OCD with my checking account and usually have an idea within a couple dollars in my head at all times, so the bank statement can be set aside because I can compare mental account to online account. Pretty close to the same thing with pay check stubs thanks to direct deposit and online time sheets. Coupons and magazines... sales and deals crowd my email inbox, so I will occasionally search through those for any additional coupons savings if I'm planning on shopping. Rolling Stone and Taste of Home and Cooking Club magazines are immediately snatched out and all thoughts about the remaining pile are forgotten.
This is only if I got the mail and am going through it myself. If my mom gets my mail, she immediately puts the lot of it on my stack of things I've already "glanced" at (see above). Now when this pile gets too high, I seriously consider going through it and sorting it to the filing cabinet. "Too high" means taller than the napkin holder next to it; for anyone wondering that's around 5 inches. However, sometimes it never reaches this magical height. It just disappears. My mom will clear it away in a drawer. Since the pile is not high enough to be worrisome, it doesn't need to be opened and so it sits.
Then a year passes and the drawer is full and the pile reaches it's magical height. So I went through the pile and drawer today. The contents are distributed across the living room tonight and I found two checks and a replacement credit card (1st cc ever is the only reason I keep this card and use it once a year) and replacement store credit card (closed the closest store, so...). Also, realized that I might have missed my last payment to the school a couple months ago. Yeah, oops.
Conclusion: I need to open my mail in a more timely manner.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Time Flies....
Wow.... it's been two weeks since or something since I wrote anything. Didn't realize it'd been that long, but then I guess it has been awhile. Probably would have been good to write more the last couple weeks too... good for myself, I mean. Well, this past week was a wash anyway. I have had this cold, that turned into maybe the flu, and then finished out with a sinus infection for the win!. Pretty spectacular and gross.
It's Friday afternoon and after sleeping 12 hours last night, I am starting to feel normal. So I have a dozen things to catch up on. Oh, and a 3:15 hair appointment. This is because it's been cold outside this week, but I haven't had much reason to go anywhere, so I haven't bothered much with my hair... and this sickness thing made holding a blow dryer feel like wielding a sledge hammer's weight. In the summer, my hair routine is comb, pull leave-in conditioner through hair, comb and give a shake and go. Winter... well, if I tried that as my daily hair routine I'd be sick all the time. After this last week... must avoid any repeats if possible.
I haven't laid eyes upon my blow dryer and straighteners in several months thanks to a mild spring and hot summer. They have resided at my mom's vanity during this time as she always blow dries and styles with curlers usually, but sometime straighteners when too curly. I walk in am horrified to find them covered in make up. The black handles look pink and shimmery... wth? This is really bothering me as I blowdry and begin straightening. Until I realize my ends are atrocious. Now it's not split ends, I get those so rarely, but the ends are a million different lengths. I have to really curl my ends under to hide them and use the other hand to send an emergency text to my stylist. She understands and is getting me in at 3:15. :-) I was supposed to have a dinner date yesterday, which would've been cancelled due to sickness, but he cancelled first for schedule issues. Now dinner on Monday, and I'll have straight ends then.
I have to get the piranha goldfish today. He's been out for almost three weeks now. It's not good. He's chewing at plastic plants. So goldfish and hair trim all in the next hour and a half! Yeah, yeah... I have kinda small goals today. Better than daytime tv, knitting and remembering when next to take my meds... my grandma's probably had a more exciting life the last week.
UPDATE: Hair is cut and looks swell again, yay! No goldfish anywhere I went. Well, there was maybe half a dozen sickly ones at the Belton Petsmart, but there were more dead ones than swimming ones. No one gets shipments until Monday. Need to check two more places... tomorrow maybe. Gonna call first, because I can't be using gas money.
It's Friday afternoon and after sleeping 12 hours last night, I am starting to feel normal. So I have a dozen things to catch up on. Oh, and a 3:15 hair appointment. This is because it's been cold outside this week, but I haven't had much reason to go anywhere, so I haven't bothered much with my hair... and this sickness thing made holding a blow dryer feel like wielding a sledge hammer's weight. In the summer, my hair routine is comb, pull leave-in conditioner through hair, comb and give a shake and go. Winter... well, if I tried that as my daily hair routine I'd be sick all the time. After this last week... must avoid any repeats if possible.
I haven't laid eyes upon my blow dryer and straighteners in several months thanks to a mild spring and hot summer. They have resided at my mom's vanity during this time as she always blow dries and styles with curlers usually, but sometime straighteners when too curly. I walk in am horrified to find them covered in make up. The black handles look pink and shimmery... wth? This is really bothering me as I blowdry and begin straightening. Until I realize my ends are atrocious. Now it's not split ends, I get those so rarely, but the ends are a million different lengths. I have to really curl my ends under to hide them and use the other hand to send an emergency text to my stylist. She understands and is getting me in at 3:15. :-) I was supposed to have a dinner date yesterday, which would've been cancelled due to sickness, but he cancelled first for schedule issues. Now dinner on Monday, and I'll have straight ends then.
I have to get the piranha goldfish today. He's been out for almost three weeks now. It's not good. He's chewing at plastic plants. So goldfish and hair trim all in the next hour and a half! Yeah, yeah... I have kinda small goals today. Better than daytime tv, knitting and remembering when next to take my meds... my grandma's probably had a more exciting life the last week.
UPDATE: Hair is cut and looks swell again, yay! No goldfish anywhere I went. Well, there was maybe half a dozen sickly ones at the Belton Petsmart, but there were more dead ones than swimming ones. No one gets shipments until Monday. Need to check two more places... tomorrow maybe. Gonna call first, because I can't be using gas money.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Just Not Over Yet
Hard to believe that a week ago, life seemed pretty good and stable. I mean, of course, there were things I'd change, but overall, good, normal, and stable. Last week seems both close and far away. By unemployment technicalities, I was fired... employer chose to end my employment while work was still available. So not lying and putting "laid off"- can't justify any of the causes like weather, bankruptcy, reduced hours, and such. Dealing with bad internet connection on top of it, so I have filled out each page twice or sometimes three times. Kinda unhappy that choosing "fired" means going through the interview process and it taking potentially 10 weeks to be approved or denied and having to file the weekly form each week while waiting and potentially being denied. I know, why do I assume the worst here? Well, my luck kinda sucks right now.
Last night I was out with a friend I haven't talked to in over a year due to a misunderstanding and we both thought the other was mad... dumb reason not to talk. We're talking and I'm getting ready to get in my car and go home when my phone vibrates. Check it and besides this missed call, I have two texts from my mom. Our dog, Sable, is 15 yrs old and the summer has been hard on her. She still tries to follow me around the house, so we've been ok with just giving her some aspirin with her food a couple time a week when she's hurting. But the last week she's barely been eating her food... maybe a couple mouthfuls at most for a day. So we'd been having the discussion of when to take her to the vet. We'd decided to take her later this week. Let her enjoy the sunshine and give her a little more attention with giving her a couple days of her favorite foods kind of thing. Then she was walking last night along the side of the house and maybe fell down a light slope. Just couldn't get up after that. She has hip dysplasia (sp?), and this fall really hurt her.
On my way home to get to my dog, my car hood flies up and smashes my windshield while I'm driving down the highway doing about 75 mph. Awesome. I'm on a curve too, can't see anything except this tiny sliver above my dashboard and below the raised car hood. Hit brakes, slide a bit, see white line and just try and get on the other side of it without going into the grass. Even the tow truck driver commented that he was surprised that my airbag didn't go off and that it was a bad place for it to happen. Then I ended up sitting there for over an hour and my car battery almost died, and is just low enough to not start now. My uncle came over this morning and was able to use 2x4s to move my hood back to the right shape. It's a little warped looking, but closes all the way and don't have to replace it. Yay, save money. Windshield can't be replaced til Wednesday.
Called around to get into a vet this morning and everyone basically told me the earliest they could get us in was tomorrow. Not good enough, she's in a lot of pain and feeding her aspirin and chicken broth isn't doing it. She did seem like she did better with a couple aspirin. Tried to get up a couple times and managed to drag herself into the sunshine this morning, by scooting her whole bed with her. She slept a bit after that and it made me feel better that she wasn't in so much constant pain at that point. We ended up getting a vet appt about 2, and while I miss my Bear pup, it's kind of a relief to not have to watch her in such pain. Hug my kitty tight tonight.
Last night I was out with a friend I haven't talked to in over a year due to a misunderstanding and we both thought the other was mad... dumb reason not to talk. We're talking and I'm getting ready to get in my car and go home when my phone vibrates. Check it and besides this missed call, I have two texts from my mom. Our dog, Sable, is 15 yrs old and the summer has been hard on her. She still tries to follow me around the house, so we've been ok with just giving her some aspirin with her food a couple time a week when she's hurting. But the last week she's barely been eating her food... maybe a couple mouthfuls at most for a day. So we'd been having the discussion of when to take her to the vet. We'd decided to take her later this week. Let her enjoy the sunshine and give her a little more attention with giving her a couple days of her favorite foods kind of thing. Then she was walking last night along the side of the house and maybe fell down a light slope. Just couldn't get up after that. She has hip dysplasia (sp?), and this fall really hurt her.
On my way home to get to my dog, my car hood flies up and smashes my windshield while I'm driving down the highway doing about 75 mph. Awesome. I'm on a curve too, can't see anything except this tiny sliver above my dashboard and below the raised car hood. Hit brakes, slide a bit, see white line and just try and get on the other side of it without going into the grass. Even the tow truck driver commented that he was surprised that my airbag didn't go off and that it was a bad place for it to happen. Then I ended up sitting there for over an hour and my car battery almost died, and is just low enough to not start now. My uncle came over this morning and was able to use 2x4s to move my hood back to the right shape. It's a little warped looking, but closes all the way and don't have to replace it. Yay, save money. Windshield can't be replaced til Wednesday.
Called around to get into a vet this morning and everyone basically told me the earliest they could get us in was tomorrow. Not good enough, she's in a lot of pain and feeding her aspirin and chicken broth isn't doing it. She did seem like she did better with a couple aspirin. Tried to get up a couple times and managed to drag herself into the sunshine this morning, by scooting her whole bed with her. She slept a bit after that and it made me feel better that she wasn't in so much constant pain at that point. We ended up getting a vet appt about 2, and while I miss my Bear pup, it's kind of a relief to not have to watch her in such pain. Hug my kitty tight tonight.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Non-answer Answers
So... apparently the only thing in my personnel file is my application, rate changes and benefits information. No reviews or anything like that. This seems unrealistic and ridiculous for a large company. I know the audio group is a separate company, but all of our benefits and checks are ran through the main company. Then again, I have never signed anything when given my reviews or even pay raise, which seems odd, right? I've never worked somewhere that didn't have me sign a review or rate change, and I remember thinking that was odd. I might have even asked with my first review, but I was still new and didn't want to question too much. Now it just seems really convenient. Learning experience there, I guess.
I finally got called back at 5:15 with this information by HR. She also told me that she had no additional details and that there's no copies of my reviews and what is in my file. Told me that usually personnel files aren't available to former employees, and that she could provide me with a document stating my title, dates of employment, and rate of pay. The only information that would be given out to anyone who calls.
So with that information, I am going to find my scattered and unopened pay stubs -awful like that with direct deposit. I figure up how much I should be paid for my hours and my deductions on my own and it's always right about what I figure in my bank account, in my defense. I feel odd about this, but I'm filing unemployment, and not going to just take any job right away. Going to apply and take a worthwhile job and do some more schooling. I'm applying around here, KC, but also out of state. I'm kinda thinking Denver or Albuquerque, but I also am unsure about the environments in both those areas. I am choosing those areas based on friends and so I feel I also need to look at companies I want to work for and areas that I actually like. I feel I want seasons or warm weather, but warm weather with green around me... maybe some blue sea close by?
Alright, kinda mad that I still don't have a reason. I was informed that my boss was upset with my extended weekend. I am getting a doctor's note for my doctor visit. But, now that I know I'm not getting anything else from them, I kinda feel like I have a point to move forward from right now.
I finally got called back at 5:15 with this information by HR. She also told me that she had no additional details and that there's no copies of my reviews and what is in my file. Told me that usually personnel files aren't available to former employees, and that she could provide me with a document stating my title, dates of employment, and rate of pay. The only information that would be given out to anyone who calls.
So with that information, I am going to find my scattered and unopened pay stubs -awful like that with direct deposit. I figure up how much I should be paid for my hours and my deductions on my own and it's always right about what I figure in my bank account, in my defense. I feel odd about this, but I'm filing unemployment, and not going to just take any job right away. Going to apply and take a worthwhile job and do some more schooling. I'm applying around here, KC, but also out of state. I'm kinda thinking Denver or Albuquerque, but I also am unsure about the environments in both those areas. I am choosing those areas based on friends and so I feel I also need to look at companies I want to work for and areas that I actually like. I feel I want seasons or warm weather, but warm weather with green around me... maybe some blue sea close by?
Alright, kinda mad that I still don't have a reason. I was informed that my boss was upset with my extended weekend. I am getting a doctor's note for my doctor visit. But, now that I know I'm not getting anything else from them, I kinda feel like I have a point to move forward from right now.
Unemployed - Bad Movies and a Couch = Ungood
Well, no lunch with Ty... a system went live overnight about a month early, so he ended up at work at 5am and is obviously busy today... and tomorrow. Haven't heard back from HR... thinking HR leaves at 4pm, so gonna call in a minute (3:40ish). I hurt from the wreck... it wasn't huge, but I've been achy since that night. Less so today, but still achy in my neck and back. My muscles don't hurt half as much as I thought they would for working out. Mostly was a bum today- worked out and then hung out through some B movies on tv and then started being domestic when I realized I was looking for something to watch that just wasn't awful. It's nice outside. Gonna brush the dog out today is a goal. But first, calling HR again.
Apple Butter - Batches 1 & 2
Well, I thought I should get around to posting this at some point... Apple butter!
Reason this is feasible and a great idea. When I was in junior high, my parents moved to the country. My dad always wanted land and loved the idea of deer hunting on his own property. So to lure these tasty deer in, in addition to deer corn and salt licks through out the property, he also planted 5 granny smith trees just before the tree line and next to the pond. I swear these went in almost immediately, and when someone said, "Granny smiths? Well, John, those are really good tasting apples you're be having in a couple years." He looked at him like he was crazy and said matter of factly, "The apples are for the deer." So it's been almost 15 yrs since they were planted and it's been just over 4 yrs since he died, and I've never had an apple- they're for the deer. But two weeks ago, I was mowing around them and noticed that even though everything died this summer from the drought, I have good size apples on two of the trees.
About a week later, I was concerned about finding a cookie that was like an oatmeal creme pie, but had apple filling in it instead of creme. Random ideas come along and need to be followed. I love oatmeal creme pies, but apple ones sounded good and healthier. So that makes them more justifiable in eating a couple at a time, right? I never found these magical cookies by the way, but I started looking for the recipes for filling and then changed to apple butter recipes.
I ended up with a mash up of some recipes I found online. Most of the recipes wanted copious amounts of sugar or to use apple sauce and/or apple juice.I have apple trees and tons of apples in the backyard, so I don't want to buy any apple stuff and I've been trying to eat healthier this last year. I've been cutting out processed food and trying to stick more to a meat, fruits and vegetables diet. Also, cutting out sugar unless it's already in my tasty strawberries or apples.
Ingredients:
12 to 15 apples, cored, peeled and cubed. (cubed quantity should be 2 qts)
1/3 cup pure maple syrup
1/4 cup white balsamic vinegar
1 cup brown sugar (added an extra bit, maybe 1 tbsp in the 2nd batch)
1 tbsp cinnamon (added maybe 1/2 tsp more in 2nd batch)
1/2 tsp cardamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp all spice
I made two batches and will address the differences and changes later. As I'm cubing apples I tossed them into a 2 qt pitcher, maybe not the most technical way of measuring, but gave me an idea at least. Then I ran them through a small blender (larger one would work better than my little one serving smoothie one) and made them into smaller chunks... not liquid, kinda like lesser apple chips. Should have taken a picture at this stage.
Then I dump them into a crock pot (stove top the first time and will never do it again). Added the other ingredients and stirred. Turn crock pot on low for the next 10 hours, lid slightly opened (like wide enough for a big wooden or plastic spoon handle), I covered it with my hand towel to not let it evaporate too much. Stirred about once an hour or maybe like once in a couple hours- did the second batch overnight and most of the stirring was anticipation.
Got up early and the house smells like apple cinnamony happiness. Stirred, added some water to get the consistency I wanted if needed, turned it on high to break down more. After another hour or so, pulled out a hand blender and worked up to its highest setting to help break down any large chunks. Leave it alone on high for another hour, maybe another blending to break up any chunks that softened since the last time. I saw recipes in which people poured the whole mixture into an actual blender. My big one was downstairs on a basement shelf, so I used the hand blender mostly out of laziness. Course, if you used a big blender at the beginning, then maybe cut out the end blending here altogether. I should try this maybe.
Once you get the consistency and taste you want, it's time to do some canning. My first batch made 6 and a half jars. It's pretty smooth, but not very thick either. It's also kind of appley, with a bit of tart aftertaste. My second batch with more spices as noted in the ingredient list and less water added, is still smooth, but thicker. It spreads more like butter and holds the peaks on toast and doesn't slide off the knife as easily. It's also more cinnamon spicy and sweet. I still actually taste the cardamon, which I discovered and adore from Persian tea/coffees I discovered this summer. I thought I liked the second one better, but I think they're both good. I like the thicker consistency of batch 2 for sure. But the appleness of batch 1 is nice and is addictive in a way that the spices aren't overpowering. The second batch is definitely sweeter, and almost covers the apple undertones. I think it'd be great on a sandwich (haven't tried it with peanut butter, but soon), or on a bagel or biscuit. The first batch is good with apples or whenever you don't want such a strong taste. I like that my tastebuds search through the tastes on this one. Sweet, spicey, and ending with a discovery of apples.
Canning in the next post.
Reason this is feasible and a great idea. When I was in junior high, my parents moved to the country. My dad always wanted land and loved the idea of deer hunting on his own property. So to lure these tasty deer in, in addition to deer corn and salt licks through out the property, he also planted 5 granny smith trees just before the tree line and next to the pond. I swear these went in almost immediately, and when someone said, "Granny smiths? Well, John, those are really good tasting apples you're be having in a couple years." He looked at him like he was crazy and said matter of factly, "The apples are for the deer." So it's been almost 15 yrs since they were planted and it's been just over 4 yrs since he died, and I've never had an apple- they're for the deer. But two weeks ago, I was mowing around them and noticed that even though everything died this summer from the drought, I have good size apples on two of the trees.
About a week later, I was concerned about finding a cookie that was like an oatmeal creme pie, but had apple filling in it instead of creme. Random ideas come along and need to be followed. I love oatmeal creme pies, but apple ones sounded good and healthier. So that makes them more justifiable in eating a couple at a time, right? I never found these magical cookies by the way, but I started looking for the recipes for filling and then changed to apple butter recipes.
I ended up with a mash up of some recipes I found online. Most of the recipes wanted copious amounts of sugar or to use apple sauce and/or apple juice.I have apple trees and tons of apples in the backyard, so I don't want to buy any apple stuff and I've been trying to eat healthier this last year. I've been cutting out processed food and trying to stick more to a meat, fruits and vegetables diet. Also, cutting out sugar unless it's already in my tasty strawberries or apples.
Ingredients:
12 to 15 apples, cored, peeled and cubed. (cubed quantity should be 2 qts)
1/3 cup pure maple syrup
1/4 cup white balsamic vinegar
1 cup brown sugar (added an extra bit, maybe 1 tbsp in the 2nd batch)
1 tbsp cinnamon (added maybe 1/2 tsp more in 2nd batch)
1/2 tsp cardamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp all spice
I made two batches and will address the differences and changes later. As I'm cubing apples I tossed them into a 2 qt pitcher, maybe not the most technical way of measuring, but gave me an idea at least. Then I ran them through a small blender (larger one would work better than my little one serving smoothie one) and made them into smaller chunks... not liquid, kinda like lesser apple chips. Should have taken a picture at this stage.
Then I dump them into a crock pot (stove top the first time and will never do it again). Added the other ingredients and stirred. Turn crock pot on low for the next 10 hours, lid slightly opened (like wide enough for a big wooden or plastic spoon handle), I covered it with my hand towel to not let it evaporate too much. Stirred about once an hour or maybe like once in a couple hours- did the second batch overnight and most of the stirring was anticipation.
Got up early and the house smells like apple cinnamony happiness. Stirred, added some water to get the consistency I wanted if needed, turned it on high to break down more. After another hour or so, pulled out a hand blender and worked up to its highest setting to help break down any large chunks. Leave it alone on high for another hour, maybe another blending to break up any chunks that softened since the last time. I saw recipes in which people poured the whole mixture into an actual blender. My big one was downstairs on a basement shelf, so I used the hand blender mostly out of laziness. Course, if you used a big blender at the beginning, then maybe cut out the end blending here altogether. I should try this maybe.
Once you get the consistency and taste you want, it's time to do some canning. My first batch made 6 and a half jars. It's pretty smooth, but not very thick either. It's also kind of appley, with a bit of tart aftertaste. My second batch with more spices as noted in the ingredient list and less water added, is still smooth, but thicker. It spreads more like butter and holds the peaks on toast and doesn't slide off the knife as easily. It's also more cinnamon spicy and sweet. I still actually taste the cardamon, which I discovered and adore from Persian tea/coffees I discovered this summer. I thought I liked the second one better, but I think they're both good. I like the thicker consistency of batch 2 for sure. But the appleness of batch 1 is nice and is addictive in a way that the spices aren't overpowering. The second batch is definitely sweeter, and almost covers the apple undertones. I think it'd be great on a sandwich (haven't tried it with peanut butter, but soon), or on a bagel or biscuit. The first batch is good with apples or whenever you don't want such a strong taste. I like that my tastebuds search through the tastes on this one. Sweet, spicey, and ending with a discovery of apples.
1st & 2nd batch side by side
1st batch on toast - color is more light reddish brown
2nd batch - obviously much thicker and more reddish color
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Unemployed Emotions
Nearly useless day so far. The only usefulness is that I did an hour of P90X. I need to call and ask for copies of my reviews and anything else in my file, but I am really nervous. I get like this. Nervous about something that I imagine will only be about a 5-10 minute conversation at most. Probably less. But now I almost don't want to know. I have worked myself up into thinking of every possible thing I have ever done at work. I am irrational in some ways today. My workout did not work. I know the only solution is to make the call and stop worrying.
In my head, I know that I should be fine, but I know that I'm not. For instance, normally I am hungry. Normally, I am starving by 10:30 in the morning, even if I had something earlier that morning. No way I could skip dinner last night and still not be hungry at 2:30 this afternoon. And I worked out... so two hours after that, I should be really hungry. Well, that's when my mind finally kicked in and said that I should ignore the normal "only eat when hungry" and recognize that I need to eat something. Struggled through half a chicken breast and a handful of fresh green beans. At least eat healthy, right?
I am over my immediate "share with the world" moments that I always have when my life gets turned upside down. Now I want to close in to only those people I already told. It started to happen a bit yesterday. I couldn't tell the cop or the guy in the car I hit that I had just lost my job. I know shutting discussion down is ungood, but I also have wandered more into and embraced the shamefulness of losing a job.
Ty has texted me this afternoon, which is really helpful. We're gonna have lunch tomorrow. I kinda imagined that no one would talk to me afterwards actually and I'm not past thinking that it'll end soon too. This is what I mean about the shamefulness. Like I am this office pariah that everyone would/should avoid. I am a bum in a tshirt, workout shorts under pajama pants, at home with my cat, blogging while watching season 2 of Breaking Bad. This is a nice day off, if it was a real day off and not the next several days... just weird.
Ok, step one: turn off tv. Step two: take shower (showers always wake the mind and lend clarity (at least for me). Step three: Make the phone call. Go from there. I'll report back later!
UPDATE: Voicemail... twice. And now that I think about it my file would be in the lock drawers behind my boss' desk, so can't get them yet anyway. More worry for tomorrow now.
In my head, I know that I should be fine, but I know that I'm not. For instance, normally I am hungry. Normally, I am starving by 10:30 in the morning, even if I had something earlier that morning. No way I could skip dinner last night and still not be hungry at 2:30 this afternoon. And I worked out... so two hours after that, I should be really hungry. Well, that's when my mind finally kicked in and said that I should ignore the normal "only eat when hungry" and recognize that I need to eat something. Struggled through half a chicken breast and a handful of fresh green beans. At least eat healthy, right?
I am over my immediate "share with the world" moments that I always have when my life gets turned upside down. Now I want to close in to only those people I already told. It started to happen a bit yesterday. I couldn't tell the cop or the guy in the car I hit that I had just lost my job. I know shutting discussion down is ungood, but I also have wandered more into and embraced the shamefulness of losing a job.
Ty has texted me this afternoon, which is really helpful. We're gonna have lunch tomorrow. I kinda imagined that no one would talk to me afterwards actually and I'm not past thinking that it'll end soon too. This is what I mean about the shamefulness. Like I am this office pariah that everyone would/should avoid. I am a bum in a tshirt, workout shorts under pajama pants, at home with my cat, blogging while watching season 2 of Breaking Bad. This is a nice day off, if it was a real day off and not the next several days... just weird.
Ok, step one: turn off tv. Step two: take shower (showers always wake the mind and lend clarity (at least for me). Step three: Make the phone call. Go from there. I'll report back later!
UPDATE: Voicemail... twice. And now that I think about it my file would be in the lock drawers behind my boss' desk, so can't get them yet anyway. More worry for tomorrow now.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Tuesday... and the Long Vacation
Today... today was crappy. I got up and canned some apple butter (more about that tomorrow) and went to work. Got there a little later than usual... boiling water takes forever I've decided. Still this isn't uncommon, the office is pretty relaxed about schedules. Working through my email... lots of email, ugh. Printing stuff I needed to do or needed to print and file. Two hours later and still not done with email, but getting there. Wanting to talk to Ty, but he's not been very responsive lately. Kind of debating whether to sulk here, or move on for a bit. I hate the hot and cold treatment, but that's another post.
Then the head of HR pops her head over the desk and asks to talk to me for a moment. Now I know whenever she is involved that it isn't good, but really why would I worry. I didn't turn in my benefits package yesterday, but why would she be here for that? I know, I was grasping here a bit. Then we go to the big conference room and she shuts the door and I sit down to her saying that, "I want to let you know that we are making today your last day."
Yeah, and then I signed Cobra papers and received some papers about my 401k (whole month's worth). I asked reason, and was told "I don't have any details and Laura's not here, because she's traveling". I asked again, for anything at all and got the same story... no answers; no reasons. "Aja is packing your desk right now" So I can't pack my own desk or even go look at it? Noo (like I'm crazy). I'm told to look through the boxes and see if there's anything I'm missing- sent HR back twice looking for things. Couldn't find one, sigh. Then I needed help to move my two boxes and fish tank out to the car. "Good luck"
Pretty much stuck in a "wth" moment at this point. Pulled into an apt complex and asked if Ty knew or if Lance knew. Needed my bosses cell number to get answers. Ty didn't know til I told him. Lance didn't know since Aja started packing my stuff and Aja knew this morning and said the only thing was that Laura was upset about yesterday. I called in yesterday... first attempt at apple butter canning sucked and took forever and then I was gonna get my car inspected and registered (didn't happen because it was tire day everywhere apparently). I'm trying to see who can go to lunch and no one can... not Ty, not Chad, so I called Hadyn from pole class. She got laid off two weeks ago.
I'm on my way to meet her, thinking I should go get my car inspected and registered today. I have a coupon for an oil change and inspection for $15. I'm stopped at the stoplight and looking for it in the mess in the passenger seat. Found it and then I thought the car in front of me started to pull forward, so I started too. Well, crap, he was only pulling forward the extra space ahead of him and the light was still red. So I rear-ended him. Awesome. His bumper is scratched, but my license plate was snapped off and the hood won't shut all the way... frame is bent slightly in the front. Got a ticket for unsafe movement of a stopped vehicle or something, ticket for my lack of inspection, ticket for lack of registration. $275 is the grand total here.
Found out that Kansas employers can terminate employment at any time for any reason or no reason. My mom suggested I ask for a copy of my file to get copies of my reviews and to also ask again for a reason. I can file unemployment as being laid off when not given a reason though. I don't fully understand the KS unemployment agency stuff, but it looks like within 7 days of electronically filing a claim, I will get a letter with a specified time that I will be called and it is my responsibility to be there to answer it and give an interview of my version of events. The same will happen with my former employer. They then compare the stories and determine whether I was fired for misconduct or gross misconduct. If I was let go for either of those reasons, then I will be denied. I can then file an appeal that is rarely overturned.
Basically, besides the wondering, I can also be broadsided later, if they choose to give the DOL a really bad reason. I know that the way I wasn't allowed to pack up my desk is normal there, but it makes me feel like I did something huge. So I go over everything in my mind and try and think about what would be an immediate termination offense. I am leaving it at this... facts of the day and then this paragraph of concerns and thoughts. At least until I have a reason or something more factual than any of the ideas running through my head.
Then the head of HR pops her head over the desk and asks to talk to me for a moment. Now I know whenever she is involved that it isn't good, but really why would I worry. I didn't turn in my benefits package yesterday, but why would she be here for that? I know, I was grasping here a bit. Then we go to the big conference room and she shuts the door and I sit down to her saying that, "I want to let you know that we are making today your last day."
Yeah, and then I signed Cobra papers and received some papers about my 401k (whole month's worth). I asked reason, and was told "I don't have any details and Laura's not here, because she's traveling". I asked again, for anything at all and got the same story... no answers; no reasons. "Aja is packing your desk right now" So I can't pack my own desk or even go look at it? Noo (like I'm crazy). I'm told to look through the boxes and see if there's anything I'm missing- sent HR back twice looking for things. Couldn't find one, sigh. Then I needed help to move my two boxes and fish tank out to the car. "Good luck"
Pretty much stuck in a "wth" moment at this point. Pulled into an apt complex and asked if Ty knew or if Lance knew. Needed my bosses cell number to get answers. Ty didn't know til I told him. Lance didn't know since Aja started packing my stuff and Aja knew this morning and said the only thing was that Laura was upset about yesterday. I called in yesterday... first attempt at apple butter canning sucked and took forever and then I was gonna get my car inspected and registered (didn't happen because it was tire day everywhere apparently). I'm trying to see who can go to lunch and no one can... not Ty, not Chad, so I called Hadyn from pole class. She got laid off two weeks ago.
I'm on my way to meet her, thinking I should go get my car inspected and registered today. I have a coupon for an oil change and inspection for $15. I'm stopped at the stoplight and looking for it in the mess in the passenger seat. Found it and then I thought the car in front of me started to pull forward, so I started too. Well, crap, he was only pulling forward the extra space ahead of him and the light was still red. So I rear-ended him. Awesome. His bumper is scratched, but my license plate was snapped off and the hood won't shut all the way... frame is bent slightly in the front. Got a ticket for unsafe movement of a stopped vehicle or something, ticket for my lack of inspection, ticket for lack of registration. $275 is the grand total here.
Found out that Kansas employers can terminate employment at any time for any reason or no reason. My mom suggested I ask for a copy of my file to get copies of my reviews and to also ask again for a reason. I can file unemployment as being laid off when not given a reason though. I don't fully understand the KS unemployment agency stuff, but it looks like within 7 days of electronically filing a claim, I will get a letter with a specified time that I will be called and it is my responsibility to be there to answer it and give an interview of my version of events. The same will happen with my former employer. They then compare the stories and determine whether I was fired for misconduct or gross misconduct. If I was let go for either of those reasons, then I will be denied. I can then file an appeal that is rarely overturned.
Basically, besides the wondering, I can also be broadsided later, if they choose to give the DOL a really bad reason. I know that the way I wasn't allowed to pack up my desk is normal there, but it makes me feel like I did something huge. So I go over everything in my mind and try and think about what would be an immediate termination offense. I am leaving it at this... facts of the day and then this paragraph of concerns and thoughts. At least until I have a reason or something more factual than any of the ideas running through my head.
Dr.'s Office Funday!
Guess I could post this from last Friday... Blogger hates cell phones apparently.
Dr's office annual = annual anger management test.
I have spectatularly bad luck with Dr's offices. I've never seen the same dr twice in the last 7 yrs. I never get in on the first scheduled appointment. I am almost always asked to reschedule. Usually takes multiple calls to get a prescription refilled regardless of the dr office I'm going through.
So I shouldn't be surprised that when I show up for my 2pm Friday dr appt, I'm told that I was a "no show" for the day before. I specifically asked for a Friday and agreed to the 14th. I considered calling to confirm, but didn't. My own fault there... kinda, I shouldn't have to, I know.
Instead of doing the normal reschedule thing. I snap a bit and tell the woman that I specifically asked for a Friday, otherwise I could have gotten in earlier in the month. This is not my fault. I scheduled this day and can't take off days as I please. Last year I was rescheduled 4 times and ended up seeing a different doctor than the one I'd previously scheduled with and now neither of them are here. I am scheduled with yet another doctor and the office is completely empty, so maybe she can see if I can be fit into my appointment time.
She checks and I can be fit in, so I start to fill out paperwork... less than 5 minutes. Then I realize they are having problems with working the scanner to scan my insurance card. The main receptionist is new and training an even newer girl. After 10 minutes of watching them struggle I offer to take a look. Nope! They call a guy from another office to come over. 20 minutes and my insurance is scanned in finally. Then I sit and wait. And wait. I see my doctor walk in and out of the office a couple times. I'm getting irritated. I'm sitting in a high barstool-like chair directly across from the receptionist window. It's now over an hour in a pretty much empty waiting room. The only other people coming are for quick shots or prescription refills. I finally ask what's the deal... Oh, we forgot about you since you're not on the schedule.
My doctor overhears this and asks who I'm waiting for... maybe a family member or someone? No, now they can't find my file. It was misfiled. My doctor had to find it herself... no joke. She's telling me this story once I finally make it behind the door. She found it filed under my first name, instead of my last. Filing obviously requires a doctorate. All in all, hour and a half wait for a fifteen minute visit.
Almost forgot... about 10 min before the waiting room scene was over, this family walked in. Super pregnant woman and toddler come in and check in at the window. She's drenched in this vanilla scent. I am immediately getting a headache. I starting to think how I wish I could inform this woman that vanilla should be a subtle scent, unless you're a stripper. Then being drenched in vanilla is acceptable- only then. That's when the guy comes in. The kid is running amok, and the woman goes and sits behind the guy and start massaging his neck. He starts moaning and grunting very um, suggestively. All I can think is, "Stop, stop... I don't need a reenactment of why she's preggers. Ridiculous!
Dr's office annual = annual anger management test.
I have spectatularly bad luck with Dr's offices. I've never seen the same dr twice in the last 7 yrs. I never get in on the first scheduled appointment. I am almost always asked to reschedule. Usually takes multiple calls to get a prescription refilled regardless of the dr office I'm going through.
So I shouldn't be surprised that when I show up for my 2pm Friday dr appt, I'm told that I was a "no show" for the day before. I specifically asked for a Friday and agreed to the 14th. I considered calling to confirm, but didn't. My own fault there... kinda, I shouldn't have to, I know.
Instead of doing the normal reschedule thing. I snap a bit and tell the woman that I specifically asked for a Friday, otherwise I could have gotten in earlier in the month. This is not my fault. I scheduled this day and can't take off days as I please. Last year I was rescheduled 4 times and ended up seeing a different doctor than the one I'd previously scheduled with and now neither of them are here. I am scheduled with yet another doctor and the office is completely empty, so maybe she can see if I can be fit into my appointment time.
She checks and I can be fit in, so I start to fill out paperwork... less than 5 minutes. Then I realize they are having problems with working the scanner to scan my insurance card. The main receptionist is new and training an even newer girl. After 10 minutes of watching them struggle I offer to take a look. Nope! They call a guy from another office to come over. 20 minutes and my insurance is scanned in finally. Then I sit and wait. And wait. I see my doctor walk in and out of the office a couple times. I'm getting irritated. I'm sitting in a high barstool-like chair directly across from the receptionist window. It's now over an hour in a pretty much empty waiting room. The only other people coming are for quick shots or prescription refills. I finally ask what's the deal... Oh, we forgot about you since you're not on the schedule.
My doctor overhears this and asks who I'm waiting for... maybe a family member or someone? No, now they can't find my file. It was misfiled. My doctor had to find it herself... no joke. She's telling me this story once I finally make it behind the door. She found it filed under my first name, instead of my last. Filing obviously requires a doctorate. All in all, hour and a half wait for a fifteen minute visit.
Almost forgot... about 10 min before the waiting room scene was over, this family walked in. Super pregnant woman and toddler come in and check in at the window. She's drenched in this vanilla scent. I am immediately getting a headache. I starting to think how I wish I could inform this woman that vanilla should be a subtle scent, unless you're a stripper. Then being drenched in vanilla is acceptable- only then. That's when the guy comes in. The kid is running amok, and the woman goes and sits behind the guy and start massaging his neck. He starts moaning and grunting very um, suggestively. All I can think is, "Stop, stop... I don't need a reenactment of why she's preggers. Ridiculous!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Black Patent Slingback Heels
So, I bought some shoes last Friday and it is almost a week and I've not posted pics of any of them. Well, I really wanted some cute slingbacks for awhile and found these in the clearance area- yay! Not only are they pretty cute and sexy in my opinion, but they are also very comfy. I like comfy, even my highest heels have to be moderately comfy. Able to be worn around the office and walked in for a couple hours, but not under any illusions of going hiking in them, lol. They are leather, with the tips being patent, seems to make them more versatile. So ignore my messy desk and admire a bit of shoe therapy. Special thanks to Kim for giving opinions on my shoe shopping via lots of text pics last week.
Lego Han and Chewie wanted in the pic.
Pole Studio Ridiculousness Rant
So I've tried to let this go, but every time I think about it I get irritated again.
First let me explain.... Even though I bought a dance pole, I quickly realized that once a week means I hurt each time because my muscles forget and don't get used enough. So I wanted to see if maybe I could convince our studio teacher into maybe just giving me a punchcard or some kind of deal for only going to class once a week. She's had class on Monday and Wednesday for awhile, and I can't make Wednesday nights til after Christmas basically, so Monday is my only option. So I'd have a pole workout Saturday at home and Monday evening, not a great spread out, but it's better than only one workout. So imagine my surprise when I go to her website and now it looks like class is every Tuesday and Thursday- great, right? Except I didn't really leave room to pay for a full membership this week in my budget and this would require me to move stuff back into my checking or be tight. I hate moving anything out of savings, even if I only just put it in... just how I am. It makes me into some crazed person and really grumpy for no good reason to others... yeah, it's not good. Stingy unreasonable accountant, lol.
I waited a day and the next day there was a discounted college student membership. Background: she changes the website all time... like seriously, all the time, multiple times a day, multiple times a week... ridiculous. So that sounds good though. Of course there's no description, but none of the other class/membership links have one either. Purchase and then go to class that evening. After class she asks to speak to me outside. Looks at me like I'm stupid and made a dumb ditzy mistake and asks if I realize I bought a college student membership. Uh, yes, I know that. Then tells me, "But you're not in college though, right? It's for young new college girls who can't afford the full membership. Not really for current members." I informed her that I have been working on my MBA and recently started taking classes again. Then she questioned if an MBA was college and told me she only wants to offer that membership plan as a once a week class, unless I want to pay the remainder of the full membership. My demeanor began to change as this conversation progressed. I've always been nice, quiet, reserved in this class... respectful of my teacher. But suddenly I changed from talking to her as student/teacher to customer/vendor. I explained that an advanced degree is definitely college. I explained that there was no description on the website. I acknowledge that I made the mistake to assume the terms of this membership based on previous knowledge of "membership". That I think when a customer pays for a service and payment is taken that a contract for an exchange of services/goods is reached. While I am disappointed that the terms of my membership contract has changed after I already paid, I will accept them at this time because I purchased my own pole and have been improving greatly on my own from watching videos of great dancers. I will most likely only want to do one day or the other anyway, so as to not get home late so many days.
Yeah, it got a little harsher near the end, and the look on her face was shocked at being spoken to like that from me. I kinda felt bad, but I also feel like this is not how a business is run. And we went to customer/vendor when I felt that the teacher/friend relationship was being taken advantage of yet again. It seemed she thought she could push me into paying full price. I think she was surprised that I not only pushed back, but the force with which I took control of the conversation. I'm the customer everyday at work as accounting/purchasing, and I don't think I'm often thought of as timid or whatever by those that know me. And I was gonna try two days a week mostly to see my friends, but honestly, I don't really have the time or desire to come home late so many days a week with class and homework.
Also this bothered me as it was my first time back in two months. I left because I was tired of being pushed. Told I needed to move up when I hadn't really gotten one of the key parts of the current level and that trying to force it before I was ready had got me hurt and made me leary of attempting progress after that. That's not good for a teacher. The next level is more expensive and I wasn't the only one who felt overly pushed. Then there's the inconsistency. The website is f'd constantly. She changes the decor constantly... tacky to also tacky. She once put a fluffy white bathroom rug on the wall as a faux window. We have shower curtains randomly placed near the entrance as a door, but a blind person must have done it for her. Furniture is bought for this tiny one room studio that isn't meant to really be used, while a mirror hasn't been able to be hung in the last three months. Now she is talking to us about, and posted on the website, how she will host baby showers and kid's birthday parties there for people. Each kid will get dressed up with boas as they arrive... seriously, not joking. I can't help but think- instead of My Little Pony parties, these'll be My Little Stripper parties. I actually assume she'll take the poles down, but still, really? It's just a bunch of scattered ideas shoved together that change from week to week. No business plan at all.
I'll finish out my month and see from there. I'll probably still go once a week or so for a bit. I'm just irritated that this ridiculousness hasn't changed and bad business in general irritates me, lol.
First let me explain.... Even though I bought a dance pole, I quickly realized that once a week means I hurt each time because my muscles forget and don't get used enough. So I wanted to see if maybe I could convince our studio teacher into maybe just giving me a punchcard or some kind of deal for only going to class once a week. She's had class on Monday and Wednesday for awhile, and I can't make Wednesday nights til after Christmas basically, so Monday is my only option. So I'd have a pole workout Saturday at home and Monday evening, not a great spread out, but it's better than only one workout. So imagine my surprise when I go to her website and now it looks like class is every Tuesday and Thursday- great, right? Except I didn't really leave room to pay for a full membership this week in my budget and this would require me to move stuff back into my checking or be tight. I hate moving anything out of savings, even if I only just put it in... just how I am. It makes me into some crazed person and really grumpy for no good reason to others... yeah, it's not good. Stingy unreasonable accountant, lol.
I waited a day and the next day there was a discounted college student membership. Background: she changes the website all time... like seriously, all the time, multiple times a day, multiple times a week... ridiculous. So that sounds good though. Of course there's no description, but none of the other class/membership links have one either. Purchase and then go to class that evening. After class she asks to speak to me outside. Looks at me like I'm stupid and made a dumb ditzy mistake and asks if I realize I bought a college student membership. Uh, yes, I know that. Then tells me, "But you're not in college though, right? It's for young new college girls who can't afford the full membership. Not really for current members." I informed her that I have been working on my MBA and recently started taking classes again. Then she questioned if an MBA was college and told me she only wants to offer that membership plan as a once a week class, unless I want to pay the remainder of the full membership. My demeanor began to change as this conversation progressed. I've always been nice, quiet, reserved in this class... respectful of my teacher. But suddenly I changed from talking to her as student/teacher to customer/vendor. I explained that an advanced degree is definitely college. I explained that there was no description on the website. I acknowledge that I made the mistake to assume the terms of this membership based on previous knowledge of "membership". That I think when a customer pays for a service and payment is taken that a contract for an exchange of services/goods is reached. While I am disappointed that the terms of my membership contract has changed after I already paid, I will accept them at this time because I purchased my own pole and have been improving greatly on my own from watching videos of great dancers. I will most likely only want to do one day or the other anyway, so as to not get home late so many days.
Yeah, it got a little harsher near the end, and the look on her face was shocked at being spoken to like that from me. I kinda felt bad, but I also feel like this is not how a business is run. And we went to customer/vendor when I felt that the teacher/friend relationship was being taken advantage of yet again. It seemed she thought she could push me into paying full price. I think she was surprised that I not only pushed back, but the force with which I took control of the conversation. I'm the customer everyday at work as accounting/purchasing, and I don't think I'm often thought of as timid or whatever by those that know me. And I was gonna try two days a week mostly to see my friends, but honestly, I don't really have the time or desire to come home late so many days a week with class and homework.
Also this bothered me as it was my first time back in two months. I left because I was tired of being pushed. Told I needed to move up when I hadn't really gotten one of the key parts of the current level and that trying to force it before I was ready had got me hurt and made me leary of attempting progress after that. That's not good for a teacher. The next level is more expensive and I wasn't the only one who felt overly pushed. Then there's the inconsistency. The website is f'd constantly. She changes the decor constantly... tacky to also tacky. She once put a fluffy white bathroom rug on the wall as a faux window. We have shower curtains randomly placed near the entrance as a door, but a blind person must have done it for her. Furniture is bought for this tiny one room studio that isn't meant to really be used, while a mirror hasn't been able to be hung in the last three months. Now she is talking to us about, and posted on the website, how she will host baby showers and kid's birthday parties there for people. Each kid will get dressed up with boas as they arrive... seriously, not joking. I can't help but think- instead of My Little Pony parties, these'll be My Little Stripper parties. I actually assume she'll take the poles down, but still, really? It's just a bunch of scattered ideas shoved together that change from week to week. No business plan at all.
I'll finish out my month and see from there. I'll probably still go once a week or so for a bit. I'm just irritated that this ridiculousness hasn't changed and bad business in general irritates me, lol.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Still Searching....
So, I'm tired. Just tired of so many things. Tired of trying to find someone worthwhile. Tired of trying with anyone. I need a good space cowboy-like hero. Not the age of the guys in the movie Space Cowboys, but like Mal and Han style. I like a little mouthiness and that confidence. I love some confidence. I guess both of them were smugglers too, but only to make a living and thwart The Man. So maybe a guy that follows through on what he believes in... more than words kind of thing. I mean they were kind of smugglers with a heart of gold. Not really bad boys, but capable of thinking and acting for themselves. Yeah, and having your own space ship would be nice too.
So where does this come from? Yet another bad date, of course. Wasn't even the incredible level of bad that I'm used to, but wasn't good either. Neither one of us seemed to really want to be there. Odd, yeah, I know I failed a bit here too. I was just tired after work and running late and couldn't hardly deal with being questioned on what I was doing to be 10 min late from someone I just met. Dude, just go with it. I was late, I will be late next time too most likely. I'm always running late. I told you this. Stop harping, mom.
Then kept on and on about how I looked familiar... accused me of not wanting to tell him the truth of where I graduated high school. Really?? Well, I realized this morning that I do know the kid. We used to go to church in the city together as kids. I never paid attention to kids younger than me really (3yrs), but I do remember this one because he was a scrawny kid that always had a baseball look about him. I vaguely remember his parents getting divorced while I was in Rolla. It all fits and suddenly his face and name made sense, lol. Yeah, didn't meet him on a PG-rated website. I'm not gonna mention the connection, but I'd bet I don't get a call back anyway. Both of us seemed happy to leave.
So where does this come from? Yet another bad date, of course. Wasn't even the incredible level of bad that I'm used to, but wasn't good either. Neither one of us seemed to really want to be there. Odd, yeah, I know I failed a bit here too. I was just tired after work and running late and couldn't hardly deal with being questioned on what I was doing to be 10 min late from someone I just met. Dude, just go with it. I was late, I will be late next time too most likely. I'm always running late. I told you this. Stop harping, mom.
Then kept on and on about how I looked familiar... accused me of not wanting to tell him the truth of where I graduated high school. Really?? Well, I realized this morning that I do know the kid. We used to go to church in the city together as kids. I never paid attention to kids younger than me really (3yrs), but I do remember this one because he was a scrawny kid that always had a baseball look about him. I vaguely remember his parents getting divorced while I was in Rolla. It all fits and suddenly his face and name made sense, lol. Yeah, didn't meet him on a PG-rated website. I'm not gonna mention the connection, but I'd bet I don't get a call back anyway. Both of us seemed happy to leave.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Opinions In The Way
Can't believe it is Wednesday and not Tuesday for one, but it's a happy surprise really. Almost everyone is out of the office for the big CEDIA show and so things are kinda slow. The international vendors though and not understanding how to bill us correctly for stuff has taken up most of my time the last couple days. Then I am having to run boxes of brochures to the warehouse to be overnighted to the show, because someone didn't know where they went last week and instead of asking (they're right in the front of the office stacked about 3 ft high against the front desk), I got emailed today several times because suddenly they're important enough to be panicked over. Marketing dept, sigh. They need to be overnight immediately! Have you done this yet?? Uh, no, and the truck doesn't come til 3pm... it's 10am.
This week can't end quick enough. Speaking of the end of the week. I am beginning to think I was right in not getting my hopes up for a fun weekend with Ty. He's got some stomach flu thing that he is getting over, so ok, that is understandable. But not a good reason to be a jerk first thing in the morning when I mention that I forgot it was Wednesday and I didn't wear any Dallas blue. Immediately tells me that there's no such thing as Dallas blue, and that the only color named for a team is Carolina blue and I can go check Nike's website if I want. What?? Who the hell cares what Nike's website says. I feel Dallas blue is a perfectly fine description of the shade of dark blue that matches the Boys' jerseys. I never said it was an actual Nike approved color. Then launches into how Dallas is an over-hyped team like the Jets and I am stuck in the 90's when they were a relevant team. WTF Ok, trying to remain calm at my desk. I've already typed to him "I'm busy". But now, well, I launch into my own reasons why the Jets and Cowboys are not in the same catergory and why someone who is stuck in the past glory of some rinky dink private college football days shouldn't speak about a NFL team like the Cowboys as over-hyped. I gave examples, because I am a case builder. And for the record... how the hell aren't they relevant? They are a current team, I am a fan (so always relevant), and they play tonight. "I forgot... I'm totally busy" aka 'I don't want to talk to you'. So then he laughs! So I outright told him it is too early in my day and I missed breakfast (lost the battle with the blender for my post-workout smoothie) and I can't handle idiot jerks yet.
Also, I hate that CBS replaced Erica Hill with Norah Roberts. She sucks. She's obviously biased and is a bitch. I won't get into politics much, if ever, here, but I expect a level of professional unbiasness from my news folk. And republican or democrat, you don't kick a dead horse, especially if that horse is the great Clint Eastwood. I love Clint Eastwood. I grew up with his movies and I think he still makes great movies. That being said and having only seen clips of the routine he did at the Republican Convention, it looked... well, did no one proof this stuff? I mean even just telling me the premise of interviewing an empty-chaired Obama sounds like something we do at a dinner party, but not for the nationally televised RNC. Ok, so not a shining moment, particularly after all the hype. BUT, that Norah woman just kept on last Friday. Ok, so you mention it and it's in the clips of the morning, but then do you have to bring it up 3 times in an interview with Ann Romney. Interview the woman, but please don't keep teasing her with acknowledging other things and then saying "do you wish more focus had been on that than on Clint Eastwood?" Woman, please. The Lady only said they were grateful for his support and said he was a great man the other two times you asked, do you really expect her to be negative this time? Thank you for wasting all the interview time alloted. Erica would have asked once and realized that Mrs. Romney was going to be a lady and not say anything negative, and moved on. I mean, have another question. It's not just this instance, but this is the one that really just ticked me off. I love you, Clint, and while I cringed a bit, I laughed too! Ugh, it makes me look forward to Gayle's "news". That's been on my mind since last week. Feels good to get it out. I hate that CBS always tries to fix their morning show, when it's fine. I feel like I am about ready to begin searching again.
This week can't end quick enough. Speaking of the end of the week. I am beginning to think I was right in not getting my hopes up for a fun weekend with Ty. He's got some stomach flu thing that he is getting over, so ok, that is understandable. But not a good reason to be a jerk first thing in the morning when I mention that I forgot it was Wednesday and I didn't wear any Dallas blue. Immediately tells me that there's no such thing as Dallas blue, and that the only color named for a team is Carolina blue and I can go check Nike's website if I want. What?? Who the hell cares what Nike's website says. I feel Dallas blue is a perfectly fine description of the shade of dark blue that matches the Boys' jerseys. I never said it was an actual Nike approved color. Then launches into how Dallas is an over-hyped team like the Jets and I am stuck in the 90's when they were a relevant team. WTF Ok, trying to remain calm at my desk. I've already typed to him "I'm busy". But now, well, I launch into my own reasons why the Jets and Cowboys are not in the same catergory and why someone who is stuck in the past glory of some rinky dink private college football days shouldn't speak about a NFL team like the Cowboys as over-hyped. I gave examples, because I am a case builder. And for the record... how the hell aren't they relevant? They are a current team, I am a fan (so always relevant), and they play tonight. "I forgot... I'm totally busy" aka 'I don't want to talk to you'. So then he laughs! So I outright told him it is too early in my day and I missed breakfast (lost the battle with the blender for my post-workout smoothie) and I can't handle idiot jerks yet.
Also, I hate that CBS replaced Erica Hill with Norah Roberts. She sucks. She's obviously biased and is a bitch. I won't get into politics much, if ever, here, but I expect a level of professional unbiasness from my news folk. And republican or democrat, you don't kick a dead horse, especially if that horse is the great Clint Eastwood. I love Clint Eastwood. I grew up with his movies and I think he still makes great movies. That being said and having only seen clips of the routine he did at the Republican Convention, it looked... well, did no one proof this stuff? I mean even just telling me the premise of interviewing an empty-chaired Obama sounds like something we do at a dinner party, but not for the nationally televised RNC. Ok, so not a shining moment, particularly after all the hype. BUT, that Norah woman just kept on last Friday. Ok, so you mention it and it's in the clips of the morning, but then do you have to bring it up 3 times in an interview with Ann Romney. Interview the woman, but please don't keep teasing her with acknowledging other things and then saying "do you wish more focus had been on that than on Clint Eastwood?" Woman, please. The Lady only said they were grateful for his support and said he was a great man the other two times you asked, do you really expect her to be negative this time? Thank you for wasting all the interview time alloted. Erica would have asked once and realized that Mrs. Romney was going to be a lady and not say anything negative, and moved on. I mean, have another question. It's not just this instance, but this is the one that really just ticked me off. I love you, Clint, and while I cringed a bit, I laughed too! Ugh, it makes me look forward to Gayle's "news". That's been on my mind since last week. Feels good to get it out. I hate that CBS always tries to fix their morning show, when it's fine. I feel like I am about ready to begin searching again.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
New Pole Set Up!
Ok, says it should take about 10 min to put together the first time and then 3-5 min for more experienced set ups. Well, I read the directions/glossary of parts booklet and then opted for youtube videos for how to put it together. Took me several hours because I wasn't sure how tight it needed to be with the ceiling to still allow it to spin smoothly. It's more like the odd one at the studio that spins and then hiccups over a bump in the spin. I don't know what else to do with this. It's perfectly straight per the builder's level I used. I tried to loosen it and make the bump go away as some sites said I prolly had it too tight. The pole stayed for a couple spins, and then I tried a pretty aggressive climb while spinning. Fail! Top slipped about 3-4 inches to the side. Once I undid it and got it upright and straight again, I tightened it up as if my life depended on it, lol. Spins ok now, still has a hiccup if I just walk it, and it's a little stiff/slower when I spin, but it's secure. I dunno... more research and eventually I may call the pole manufacturer folk for help. It works fine, but I want it to spin in that fast makes me dizzy kind of way.
Ok, pic of pole and a blurry Mister kitty. Theo walked through as I was taking this and immediately glared at having his picture taken. Paparazzi momma that I am, I then spent quite a bit of time trying to get a good pic of his adorable mug. I was only successful when I lured him in with food. You can see his irritation at my tactics, lol.
Yeah, I know the background is messy, but at least I vacuumed, lol. Been about a month and a half since I was last on a pole. Feel it immediately, and everything that was effortless then is now a struggle to hold. Just uses different muscles than my normal exercise. I thought it'd be easier since I do pull-ups (all 2 in a rep), but it's not, sigh. I'll hurt tomorrow at Irish Fest.
Ok, pic of pole and a blurry Mister kitty. Theo walked through as I was taking this and immediately glared at having his picture taken. Paparazzi momma that I am, I then spent quite a bit of time trying to get a good pic of his adorable mug. I was only successful when I lured him in with food. You can see his irritation at my tactics, lol.
Yeah, I know the background is messy, but at least I vacuumed, lol. Been about a month and a half since I was last on a pole. Feel it immediately, and everything that was effortless then is now a struggle to hold. Just uses different muscles than my normal exercise. I thought it'd be easier since I do pull-ups (all 2 in a rep), but it's not, sigh. I'll hurt tomorrow at Irish Fest.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Pole Arrival and Fave Dancer Vids
Ok, dance poles are heavy! Coworkers think I got poling for a martin house. It is a really tall pole... about 9 ft when put together without extenders. Gonna need help getting it to the car though... I wasn't thinking when I wore 4 inch heels today... or was I? Lol. I also found it amusing that it arrived when Zombie's Foxy Foxy was playing on my playlist.
Ok, so I'm super psyched about getting this pole and can't wait to put it up. It won't get put up until tomorrow for a couple reasons... my nice Baptist mother is having a whiny church lady over tonight. I plan on watching the install video at least though. Prolly a heck of a lot of youtube dance videos too. So having never posted a pic or anything, I will attempt to share some of my fave pole dancer youtube videos today.
First is Felix Cane. This woman is amazing on a pole. It takes ridiculous control and strength to do these moves and she makes them look so effortless and graceful. When/if I get around to posting a video of myself, it will not look like this, but I'll wish it did. Ok, enough... video. This was easy to post, hmm. Not one her competition performances, looks like maybe she just freestyled it. Long ass Metallica song, lol.
Hope you enjoyed!
Ok, so I'm super psyched about getting this pole and can't wait to put it up. It won't get put up until tomorrow for a couple reasons... my nice Baptist mother is having a whiny church lady over tonight. I plan on watching the install video at least though. Prolly a heck of a lot of youtube dance videos too. So having never posted a pic or anything, I will attempt to share some of my fave pole dancer youtube videos today.
First is Felix Cane. This woman is amazing on a pole. It takes ridiculous control and strength to do these moves and she makes them look so effortless and graceful. When/if I get around to posting a video of myself, it will not look like this, but I'll wish it did. Ok, enough... video. This was easy to post, hmm. Not one her competition performances, looks like maybe she just freestyled it. Long ass Metallica song, lol.
Ok, next one. I like Jenyne Butterfly, but I think some of her routines are quite a bit alike. Eh, still looks good and she still has a couple more titles and medals more than me, so I'll be quiet. Again not a competition video, so watch one of those for a little more atheletic and cleaner look to her routines. Tried to find the one she posted of this. I think I came across one in which she said it was after a couple hours of practice and she was tired and didn't have the cleanest of lines and transitions. She looks pretty good to me though. Ended up with this one... I hate people talking over the music in videos, but can't watch a bunch of pole vids at work trying to find the one with the music added back into the muted performance.
Hope you enjoyed!
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Potential Goodness
Crazy quick note, then back to pretending I care about this meeting.....
I am promised a weekend getaway. Most likely the 7th and 8th. Gasp! I am to keep that weekend open and Ty is looking into plans. I feel like I need to keep my expectations low on this working out, because that's what happens to me. Every other weekend in September has something going on anyway. Can't wait for L1's baby shower and hopefully folk can come in from out of town too. And RenFest that wknd, something the next wknd, and my mom's birthday is at the end of the month (29th) and I'm getting a bunny that wknd too.
Oh and the pole update is "Destination Scan" - so close!
I am promised a weekend getaway. Most likely the 7th and 8th. Gasp! I am to keep that weekend open and Ty is looking into plans. I feel like I need to keep my expectations low on this working out, because that's what happens to me. Every other weekend in September has something going on anyway. Can't wait for L1's baby shower and hopefully folk can come in from out of town too. And RenFest that wknd, something the next wknd, and my mom's birthday is at the end of the month (29th) and I'm getting a bunny that wknd too.
Oh and the pole update is "Destination Scan" - so close!
Mom Update and Some Rambling
Wondering how I can have all these glorious weekend plans and not have my mother around? Well, that's because she's going to Nebraska with the neighbor she's "not" dating. The last month she has been only coming home from work long enough to change clothes and then she is at his house until midnight or 2am, depending on whether she is working or not the next day. He brings her flowers when he picks her up for dinner and gave her an orchid when he made a full meal for them a week ago. They're not dating. They both very awkwardly insist this, which makes it awkward. Awesome.
So last Thanksgiving we lost our dogs and never got them back. Toss up whether someone dognapped them or illegal hunters shot them. I don't really believe they ran off to a nice happy family, because I can remember getting out of the shower that morning and feeling like something was wrong and different from other mornings they'd left the yard. Usually I would just go to work and know they'd be back once the dewy morning wore off, but like I said it was different and I saw the sneaky beagle that they ran with looking bewildered and really jumpy when I called to him. Beagle knows what happened... he saw things, but I digress.
So anyhow, we spent Thanksgiving morning asking neighbors if they'd seen the dogs. We live in the country btw, so neighbors means covering a couple miles really and lots of fields and woods in between. My mother commented on how she wished she knew our neighbors better... awkwardly find out on this trip that our street is full of widows and widowers. Karl's wife found a lump in her breast and was gone two or three weeks later. Lady on the hill's husband died due to cancer in October- we just thought it odd that they didn't have their normal watermelon party in August. Then the guy on the corner's wife died from a drunk driver went off the bridge above them on 71 highway and falling onto their car. Crazy. With my mom included, that is 4 of the 6 people who live in our street area that are widowed.
Fast forward to the end of July 2012. She keeps harping on not being as close to our neighbors for the last several months. I tell her to just go talk to them. I know most of them because they had kids or grandkids in school with me that I use to ride the bus with in early high school. Country bus routes are about 2.5 to 3 hours long, so you make friends when you're at the end of the route. So she recently learned how I make chicken enchiladas and made some and took them over. Stayed for about 4 hours. He has alpacas... I will post pics of them eventually.... along with other things.
I don't care that she spends a lot of time with him. I like it actually, but I hate being talked to about it. Their talks are what makes things awkward. I'm not much of a "feelings front and center" kind of girl. I mull a lot more and decide how I feel about things like this. If I had a problem, I'd let you know, otherwise the forced convos are just uncomfortable. Like your parents wanting to have "The Talk". No matter when that happens, it's awkward and not what you want to discuss with them, lol. Shiver
So last Thanksgiving we lost our dogs and never got them back. Toss up whether someone dognapped them or illegal hunters shot them. I don't really believe they ran off to a nice happy family, because I can remember getting out of the shower that morning and feeling like something was wrong and different from other mornings they'd left the yard. Usually I would just go to work and know they'd be back once the dewy morning wore off, but like I said it was different and I saw the sneaky beagle that they ran with looking bewildered and really jumpy when I called to him. Beagle knows what happened... he saw things, but I digress.
So anyhow, we spent Thanksgiving morning asking neighbors if they'd seen the dogs. We live in the country btw, so neighbors means covering a couple miles really and lots of fields and woods in between. My mother commented on how she wished she knew our neighbors better... awkwardly find out on this trip that our street is full of widows and widowers. Karl's wife found a lump in her breast and was gone two or three weeks later. Lady on the hill's husband died due to cancer in October- we just thought it odd that they didn't have their normal watermelon party in August. Then the guy on the corner's wife died from a drunk driver went off the bridge above them on 71 highway and falling onto their car. Crazy. With my mom included, that is 4 of the 6 people who live in our street area that are widowed.
Fast forward to the end of July 2012. She keeps harping on not being as close to our neighbors for the last several months. I tell her to just go talk to them. I know most of them because they had kids or grandkids in school with me that I use to ride the bus with in early high school. Country bus routes are about 2.5 to 3 hours long, so you make friends when you're at the end of the route. So she recently learned how I make chicken enchiladas and made some and took them over. Stayed for about 4 hours. He has alpacas... I will post pics of them eventually.... along with other things.
I don't care that she spends a lot of time with him. I like it actually, but I hate being talked to about it. Their talks are what makes things awkward. I'm not much of a "feelings front and center" kind of girl. I mull a lot more and decide how I feel about things like this. If I had a problem, I'd let you know, otherwise the forced convos are just uncomfortable. Like your parents wanting to have "The Talk". No matter when that happens, it's awkward and not what you want to discuss with them, lol. Shiver
Weekend Plans
I need to add pictures... this will come soon. Pole will arrive tomorrow and I will set it up Friday night and all weekend long and will attempt to take some decent pics then. Shoes... I'll work on this too this weekend. I have a big Labor Day weekend party of one planned for myself. Placed an order for a couple more bottles of wine. Will set up the pole and play for a couple hours and whenever I walk by for the majority of the weekend. I have a goal to purchase a new grill and grill yummy meat on it. I am considering going to the new Sea Life Aquarium and/or LegoLand KC. I think I'll probably go to the aquarium, but the LegoLand looks like it'd be more fun with another big kid. September 24th is Star Wars theme night... sounds spectacular if I can find someone to go with, lol.
This week is dragging on forever. It feels like it should be Thursday at least, not Wednesday. I was super productive this morning. Now, eh, more just want to go home. Read a book, watch a movie or something. Maybe I'll see a movie this weekend. I'll prolly sleep a lot.
Ty is going with friends to Lake of the Ozarks. I wasn't invited. Not surprised, and not really upset or anything like that. I'm just bored already with my weekend. At the same time I want a lot of undisturbed pole time too. I considered driving somewhere, but want pole time, meh. Bored may not be the best word. Feel like I want someone to hang part of this weekend, I guess.
This week is dragging on forever. It feels like it should be Thursday at least, not Wednesday. I was super productive this morning. Now, eh, more just want to go home. Read a book, watch a movie or something. Maybe I'll see a movie this weekend. I'll prolly sleep a lot.
Ty is going with friends to Lake of the Ozarks. I wasn't invited. Not surprised, and not really upset or anything like that. I'm just bored already with my weekend. At the same time I want a lot of undisturbed pole time too. I considered driving somewhere, but want pole time, meh. Bored may not be the best word. Feel like I want someone to hang part of this weekend, I guess.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Job Vent and Shopping While Intoxicated
So a week ago Monday, I got my annual review at the jobby job. Nothing but good things, but I need to be more consistent with my arrival time in the next month as we get two new people from the main company over here and they are use to a stricter schedule. Damn blackhole of time that I stumble across most mornings!
Then we talked about the coming transition. The accounting side of our company is going to start doing our own full accounting cycle. Normally we do some, but send it over to the main bldg for the majority. This will cut the current 7 people’s (by hours spread between a lot more folk) salaries we pay to three people’s worth. So this will mean 4 full time peoples' responsibilities will need to be dispersed amongst three who already have full-time jobs. The math here is, um, unfavorable.
Now then, the three of us will all have other duties besides accounting still. "Accounting" here encompasses 4-5 speaker companies and the wine company for daily payables, receivables, tax stuff, international stuff and so on. So you can imagine how much the company will be saving. So when she was happy to give me $0.25 raise or $500 additional a year, I was a little less than thrilled. My motivation kinda walked off and got distracted by the internet and blog names. It's the wrong attitude, but I still feel a little sulky a week later. Kinda wondering if this is what I needed to set me free to look at moving to Denver, Albuquerque, Texas or wherever new with friends.
But first I went home and drank a bottle of liquid benefits from the current company. Talked on the phone with an old Rolla friend in Albuquerque (ABQ from here on), and shopped online. Bought some shoes (post pics another time) and bought a pole dance spinner pole. This pole is not like the cheap toy ones. This is a professional X-Pole Xpert 45mm. I was both appalled and excited to see I ordered it the next morning. I got a good deal... about $50 less than most places due to my thrifty discount code searching, lol. It arrives at the office on Thursday... office because it has to be signed for. The reason I've not bought one before is that my sweet, baptist Sunday school teaching mother would prolly do more than frown at it. But she's not home as much anymore (more on this later), so hopefully I can set it up more often than originally thought. Ok, so maybe I shouldn't shop online while drunk, but maybe it'll work out... maybe, lol. Did I mention I'm excited?
Then we talked about the coming transition. The accounting side of our company is going to start doing our own full accounting cycle. Normally we do some, but send it over to the main bldg for the majority. This will cut the current 7 people’s (by hours spread between a lot more folk) salaries we pay to three people’s worth. So this will mean 4 full time peoples' responsibilities will need to be dispersed amongst three who already have full-time jobs. The math here is, um, unfavorable.
Now then, the three of us will all have other duties besides accounting still. "Accounting" here encompasses 4-5 speaker companies and the wine company for daily payables, receivables, tax stuff, international stuff and so on. So you can imagine how much the company will be saving. So when she was happy to give me $0.25 raise or $500 additional a year, I was a little less than thrilled. My motivation kinda walked off and got distracted by the internet and blog names. It's the wrong attitude, but I still feel a little sulky a week later. Kinda wondering if this is what I needed to set me free to look at moving to Denver, Albuquerque, Texas or wherever new with friends.
But first I went home and drank a bottle of liquid benefits from the current company. Talked on the phone with an old Rolla friend in Albuquerque (ABQ from here on), and shopped online. Bought some shoes (post pics another time) and bought a pole dance spinner pole. This pole is not like the cheap toy ones. This is a professional X-Pole Xpert 45mm. I was both appalled and excited to see I ordered it the next morning. I got a good deal... about $50 less than most places due to my thrifty discount code searching, lol. It arrives at the office on Thursday... office because it has to be signed for. The reason I've not bought one before is that my sweet, baptist Sunday school teaching mother would prolly do more than frown at it. But she's not home as much anymore (more on this later), so hopefully I can set it up more often than originally thought. Ok, so maybe I shouldn't shop online while drunk, but maybe it'll work out... maybe, lol. Did I mention I'm excited?
Most Recent Date... Artsy Fartsy
Ok, so this was last Saturday and it went so well that I can't remember his name today... Chris? Maybe David? Rich? Yeah, it was that good.
So met him for drinks and dinner... sit outside at nice little place downtown. I wore jeans and a nice tank top blouse. He wore jeans and artsy tshirt and a taxi-driver hat (never remember their names, but I actually like them). Scene set! He's a graphic designer and illustrator sometimes. He feels confident he can draw and paint anything. He is learning how to play the guitar and mandolin. We obviously value different life skill sets. I am beginning to realize this is bad. I don't do well with artsy folk. I value logic, science, math, and such. I am that person that loves the idea of going to an art fair, but will only really like a handful of pieces/artists. The rest I avoid eye-contact with because I feel they may see my "Sorry, your life's work is unappealing or pretentious or small child-like and holds little value to me" I know, I'm a bitch sometimes, but honest.
So I'm trying here though. Girl needs to get laid. I think I asked myself a couple times, "How much is this worth?" and "Can I make this work?" I tried saying how I still use a little chemistry when doing glass batches for my glasswork and that works makes accounting tolerable. This is art! Yay! Connection! He waved his hand at me dismissively and then apologized that he just didn't see that as real creative art. Something about the glass deciding it's own outcome. I've decided that if I do stick it out, someone will be crying at the end of the night and it won't be me. Not a good place even for my happy gutter mind. I think I'm attempting a smile at this point, but I can feel myself becoming viscious and wanting to say harsh things. Smiling takes focus at this point and is helping me appear nice-ish.
Final straw.... Asking if I can sing. He really wants to find a girl who can sing, since he's learning to play the guitar. Ok, I feel a bit of panic at the thought of singing in public. I only sing in the car and to a purely feline audience at home. But this question caught me off guard and I just lost it. I pictured us singing together while he plays the guitar and strangers throw money into the propped guitar case. I had a weird hippy garland thing in my hair and that's the mental image that sent me over the edge. I started laughing out loud, put my hand to my mouth and kept on laughing. I think I actually said "How do I find you guys?" and then said I had to go. Put $10 on the table for my meal and drink and left still laughing.
I should have known though. I mean, I suggested we go to BaconFest and he wasn't interested. No one else to blame. Should have known then that it wasn't gonna work out with someone who would turn down BaconFest.
So met him for drinks and dinner... sit outside at nice little place downtown. I wore jeans and a nice tank top blouse. He wore jeans and artsy tshirt and a taxi-driver hat (never remember their names, but I actually like them). Scene set! He's a graphic designer and illustrator sometimes. He feels confident he can draw and paint anything. He is learning how to play the guitar and mandolin. We obviously value different life skill sets. I am beginning to realize this is bad. I don't do well with artsy folk. I value logic, science, math, and such. I am that person that loves the idea of going to an art fair, but will only really like a handful of pieces/artists. The rest I avoid eye-contact with because I feel they may see my "Sorry, your life's work is unappealing or pretentious or small child-like and holds little value to me" I know, I'm a bitch sometimes, but honest.
So I'm trying here though. Girl needs to get laid. I think I asked myself a couple times, "How much is this worth?" and "Can I make this work?" I tried saying how I still use a little chemistry when doing glass batches for my glasswork and that works makes accounting tolerable. This is art! Yay! Connection! He waved his hand at me dismissively and then apologized that he just didn't see that as real creative art. Something about the glass deciding it's own outcome. I've decided that if I do stick it out, someone will be crying at the end of the night and it won't be me. Not a good place even for my happy gutter mind. I think I'm attempting a smile at this point, but I can feel myself becoming viscious and wanting to say harsh things. Smiling takes focus at this point and is helping me appear nice-ish.
Final straw.... Asking if I can sing. He really wants to find a girl who can sing, since he's learning to play the guitar. Ok, I feel a bit of panic at the thought of singing in public. I only sing in the car and to a purely feline audience at home. But this question caught me off guard and I just lost it. I pictured us singing together while he plays the guitar and strangers throw money into the propped guitar case. I had a weird hippy garland thing in my hair and that's the mental image that sent me over the edge. I started laughing out loud, put my hand to my mouth and kept on laughing. I think I actually said "How do I find you guys?" and then said I had to go. Put $10 on the table for my meal and drink and left still laughing.
I should have known though. I mean, I suggested we go to BaconFest and he wasn't interested. No one else to blame. Should have known then that it wasn't gonna work out with someone who would turn down BaconFest.
Relationships... Not New, But Feels Like It Sometimes
I previously started blogging after a pretty harsh end to a relationship. Seemed pretty intense and I was pretty unsure of things at that time. Not denying that it was intense, but it is crystal clear looking back and thank you all who pushed for me to not give in to him. He last attempted a contact about a month ago, but some nice big weightlifting competitor firemen had a chat with him and now it's peacefully quiet. I like that... a lot... giggle.
So on to greener-ish pastures. Anyone who read anything by me before at least vaguely remembers Ty. Not gay, but still unsatisfied. Stupid cute idiot. I don't really know what to think here most of the time. Hot and cold... or super hot to lukewarm-ish. He's become my closest work friend and I'd like to be better friends outside of work. Mostly outside of work is sexting and r-rated pic exchanges on a bored weekend here and there. If you can't tell, this is a lukewarm week, lol. Good conversations and I know he is a happy bachelor and I'm ok with that. I'm perfectly happy with a fwb relationship with him right now. But it's never gone there, just been the worse tease I've ever known.
Sometimes I think this is what I was like when I was at my worst about commitment, lol. I must have driven people nuts. I remember that I would get too close and then I'd give the person the cold shoulder, even date others for like a week or two before coming back just to prove we weren't dating. Well, if Ty and I are dating... it's like JH dating. Only see each other in the same space we know each other from and have lunch together sometimes somewhat covertly. So like JH, before you could drive and go out on dates outside of school time, and lunch together, and then deny to others that you even notice his/her existence, lol.
I won't always want a fwb relationship, but I'm ok with it for now. I almost want to yell at him that he's gonna miss this and about the time he is ready to take the chance, I'll want more. But I'm happy right now with not being committed to a relationship, it feels a little like freedom when I am up in the air about other things. I feel content and healthier, more logical and steady than I was a few months ago. Normal for me at least.
So on to greener-ish pastures. Anyone who read anything by me before at least vaguely remembers Ty. Not gay, but still unsatisfied. Stupid cute idiot. I don't really know what to think here most of the time. Hot and cold... or super hot to lukewarm-ish. He's become my closest work friend and I'd like to be better friends outside of work. Mostly outside of work is sexting and r-rated pic exchanges on a bored weekend here and there. If you can't tell, this is a lukewarm week, lol. Good conversations and I know he is a happy bachelor and I'm ok with that. I'm perfectly happy with a fwb relationship with him right now. But it's never gone there, just been the worse tease I've ever known.
Sometimes I think this is what I was like when I was at my worst about commitment, lol. I must have driven people nuts. I remember that I would get too close and then I'd give the person the cold shoulder, even date others for like a week or two before coming back just to prove we weren't dating. Well, if Ty and I are dating... it's like JH dating. Only see each other in the same space we know each other from and have lunch together sometimes somewhat covertly. So like JH, before you could drive and go out on dates outside of school time, and lunch together, and then deny to others that you even notice his/her existence, lol.
I won't always want a fwb relationship, but I'm ok with it for now. I almost want to yell at him that he's gonna miss this and about the time he is ready to take the chance, I'll want more. But I'm happy right now with not being committed to a relationship, it feels a little like freedom when I am up in the air about other things. I feel content and healthier, more logical and steady than I was a few months ago. Normal for me at least.
Blog Mission Statement? Kinda
Ok, so I wanted to start my own blog a couple months ago... I blame and thank Kim. Been holding back because I wanted a perfect name, but finally decided that I really wanted to just start this and not worry about perfection. Distracted Girl seemed appropriate because I am known for being able to be distracted by anything... it doesn't even have to be shiny or blink (though, I like those a lot). And really this blog is gonna be a distraction from productivity anyway. So sometimes this blog will feature whatever is on my mind and sometimes that may be relationships, awful/hilarious/good(?) date stories, job venting, shoes, questions to the universe and other randomness.
Meanwhile, I love comments, so leave one if you got any comments, questions, ideas, balloons to float or darts to throw.
Ok, that's done. Now lunch and then I'll come back and write a real post or two.
Meanwhile, I love comments, so leave one if you got any comments, questions, ideas, balloons to float or darts to throw.
Ok, that's done. Now lunch and then I'll come back and write a real post or two.
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